stuff about where I live and play, and maybe some stuff about where I work and play.

12.29.2007

(my)* randy. [with edit]

congrats, my boy.

the game isn't over yet, but so far the following records have been broken:

  1. Tom Brady broke the season record for touchdown passes
  2. Randy Moss broke the season record for touchdown catches
  3. New England broke record for most points by a team in a season (previously set by (my) randy against (my) '98 Vikings)

no matter what the outcome of the game, this has still been a heart-warming-give-me-chills game so far.

and there's still 10 minutes in the 4th quarter to go!

as you were.

*(my) randy because i've loved and believed in him SINCE DAY 1. in case you didn't already know that. loves that boy!!

EDIT

THEY DID IT. so effing cool. 16-0. AMAZING.

watch the pass that made me nearly pee my pants: here

12.26.2007

kick ass.

so, due to all of your input
(brutally honest and wonderful, btw)
i returned these ugly things:
and replaced with these:

i know. i'm smarter than i look.



my dog as a pin cushion

for xmas eve, i decided to treat my poor sinus-congested cosette to a little pin-needle action. she's had a cold for over a week now, and she's been MISERABLE because she really hasn't been able to properly breathe (which means we've been MISERABLE because she's kept us up all night). we have her on some chinese herbs called astra c, but we thought, hey, why not try come needle therapy.




i call this: porcu-sette.



anyway, she kinda hated it at first and shook out three of the needles, but eventually she became a pile of poked mush and, maybe, just maybe, she loved us a little more for doing it to her.

ps. she can breathe MUCH better now, thankyouverymuch.

12.21.2007

happy holidays!

i just got back from one of the best liquid lunches ever. the kind where you feel pretty awesome, but not like taking a nap. the kind where you had a raspberry mojito (or two and half) but not quite three. the kind where you laughed and giggled and remembered to be thankful for having some of the most awesome co-workers, ever.

and then i realized, i'm actually done working until 9am on wednesday morning.

and holy shit! that's awesome town. because for most of the day? i forgot it was even friday. friday before a bunch of days off, no less.

it's like when you wake up at like WAY TOO EARLY O'CLOCK and think OH SHIT ! I'M GOING TO BE LATE! and then you realize, ohhh yesssssssssssssss. i actually have, like, 2 more hours of sweet, sweet sleep.

yeah, kinda like that.


and in case i haven't said it yet (i haven't) HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(extra exclamation points for effect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

12.20.2007

funny find.

i found this on this blog and, so, ignoring the fact that "underneath is misspelled," this really doesn't make much sense.

however, the blog author provides the following Theory:


"Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: “Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.”

Walmart Employee: “Whatchu want on the cake?”

Customer: “Best Wishes Suzanne.” And underneath that “We will miss you”.

in addition to the fact that i just had diet coke and a chocolate mint candy cane for breakfast, I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING about this.

hilar.i.ous.

ROCKET EDITION! !!!! !!!!!!!

i don't post videos too often anymore, because, well, i don't know.

but this one was so powerfully awesome, i couldn't help myself.




MANANA!!!

oh my gosh, this video excites me to no end.

12.19.2007

ho ho ho

so i am officially 95% done with all my xmas shopping. i have to credit aaron with doing most of it, however, so i don't want all of you starting a petition to have me named as a saint, or anything.





but anyway, i feel an overwhelming sense of relief. so much so, that i decided to get myself a little something. and it looks like this:


i honestly can't decide if i love them or hate them. i guess i will make the final decision when they arrive in the mail, i think by friday.

BUT LISTEN! they were on SUPER SALE! WITH FREE SHIPPING! AND THE FREE SHIPPING SUPER SALE ENDED ON MONDAY! so it's like, i HAD to buy them, right?

what do you think?? love em or hate em?

12.17.2007

when going back to work is actually relaxing

so it's been 6 non-stop days of entertaining and being entertained. can i tell you that i was actually excited to come into work today because it meant i wasn't going to have to

a) thing of creative/fun things to do
b) eat too much food
c) spend too much money
d) think

haha, that last part is funny. i actually DO have to think today. like, a lot. but at least it involves things that i'm used to and/or good at thinking about rather than TRYING TO BE CREATIVE AND ENTERTAINMENT MINDED EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE.

yeah, i like this "work" thing.

in all seriousness, i had THE BEST VACATION. i'm very sad it's over. my parents and in-laws all ROCK and the fact that they can party together is a very, very cool thing.

also? i think the new CRANIUM WOW! board game might be the best invention since twister. i know, bold move, but i think it to be so.

moer updates/anecdotes to come. that is, if you CAN HANDLE IT.

12.12.2007

old enough to know better.

so found a fur-lined hoodie today.
it was awfully unique
upon it's label, text read
"authentic vintage"



can anyone explain how a fur-lined hoodie could be AUTHENTICALLLY VINTAGE?


who wore HOODIES in the VINTAGE days?


wondering in LA,
rubes/

shakin tha aaaassss

my moms and i went to a "six pack abs" class today followed IMMEDIATELY by the standard "yoga booty ballet" class.

i mean, hi, i have a JOB which means i dont spend ALL DAY working out.

but, whatever.

me and moms still held OUR OWN. in fact, the instructor was all "ruby, let's see you relax a bit" whilst saying " ruby's mom, relax."

so iguess whutimasayin is: MY MOM'S FAULT IF IM AN UPTIGHT BIATCH.


ps/ loves yous moms.
so. my parentals have arrived, yes.

mostly, my mom can drink a homeless person under a bridge and my stepdad can school any single one of you on the nuances of hefeweizen.

however.

none of the above items makes ANYONE moulin rouge-proof.

so i sit here, with aaron and eddie roaming in and out of the room, watching THE BEST MUSICAL EVER MADE while everyone else is "otherwise occupied."

PLEASE.

i NEED TO KNOW that there are others out there that LOVE MOULIN ROUGE AS MUCH AS MOI.

because, OMG I DIE each time i watch this movie.

imeansrslyomgidie.

12.11.2007

TGIT!

i'm on vacation until the 16th after today, so on many, many levels, today is effing awesome.

some reasons why:
  • arrived at work and there was a cute little holiday bag of GHIRADELLI & LINDOR chocolate sitting on my desk courtesy of my lovely analyst [he's a GEM]
  • chocolate for breakfast, b*tches
  • i got an email from a client that included the compliment "you're like a ninja"
  • i just got done helping a fellow co-worker with something and he quipped, "i'm so glad you're smart." and my reply was "i'm so glad you think so."
  • aaron finally flies home from MN today (he stayed a few extra days than originally planned)
  • free lunch ME
  • my parents arrive from MN a few hours later
  • i have reservations at our favorite tapas and BYOW joint tonight
  • it's our 16-year anniversary of dating
  • it's tuesday but it FEELS like friday

aw, yeah.

12.09.2007

we got elf'd

maybe i had some free time on my hands this weekend. maybe not.

either way, someone "elf'd" us. so, um, enjoy.


>>>>>>>> elfalicious! <<<<<<<<<<<

mah b*tches.

tonight i had dinner with the ladies. it's been an interesting year for my girls. one just got engaged and the other two just recently found the men they want to marry and *gulp* make babies with...

the four of us had dinner on the patio at my favorite sunday supper joint and since everyone was hungover EXCEPT me (see previous entry) i ended up indulging in the $10 bottle-of-wine deal mostly by myself. mmmm delicious $10 wine. me likey you.

anyway, i miss my girls, like, a lot. they are so busy nesting and being good "other halves" that we don't get a lot of girl time alone. but the great news is that, when we do, we still chat our stupid faces off and have so.much.fun that i really couldn't imagine life without them. excitingly, i now get to imagine life with them +1 each, and wonderfully, i love all their +1's.

amen.

murder down below.

we live on the top floor of a duplex which is mostly? awesome. it means that we don’t have to deal with people living ABOVE us. more often than not, we have a peaceful coexistence with the two todds and a jake who live below us, despite their inclination to be Frat Boy Party Dudes. don’t get me wrong, I totally adore frat boy party dudes.

um, except for when they make me wonder if THEY ARE MURDERING PEOPLE IN THE BEDROOM BELOW ME.

so here’s the situation. I had a very lovely ME day yesterday wherein all I did was hang out with myself, except for when I had my massage therapist, um, MASSAGE THE HELL OUT OF ME. so except for that, my human interaction yesterday was limited to:

  1. the person who checks me in at the gym and some inconsequential people who happened to be at the gym at the same time as me
  2. a fleeting moment when eddie and I discussed him NOT ordering The Fight here, but instead “going out” to watch it (yessss! chick flicks and wine ME!)
  3. a discussion with liana via text wherein I declined an invitation to hang out with the crew so I could, um, “not shower” and “turn in early”
  4. a couple phone calls with aaron wherein I was all “hey! I did nothing today! mostly! and mostly nothing!”

so that was my day, in a nutshell.

I watched “catch and release” and weirdly, loved it, and cosette and I had some wine (me moreso than her) and I lit a bunch of candles and I ordered expensive food and made a nice indentation on the couch. around 11pm I said to cosette MAN AM I EVER BUSHED! let’s call it a night. and she snorted in concurrence. so 11pm-ish I was snuggled into bed and I had all sorts of weird ideas of “getting up super early” and being “super productive.”

and I lived happily ever after.

no. notsomuch.

anyway. eddie rolls in around1-ish and made enough of a ruckus to stir me from my slumber. not a huge ruckus, mindyou, but enough. and since aaron isn’t here, well, I guess I’m my own watchdog so I was all… hey! who’s in the house! and then I was all, oh! it’s my roommate.

I’m a detective in my spare time.

anyway, not more than 30 minutes later, there was another ruckus down below. I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. so there was SCREAMING and WALL POUNDING and WEIRD RUNNING NOISES. so I propped myself up on my elbows and was like, um, WHAT THE MUTHER EFF is going on, um, to myself.

and I continued to listen to SCREAMING and more WALL POUNDING and then some SHRILL LAUGHTER. and then? I realized that the frat boy party dudes must have just returned from the bars. but it took me a full FIVE minutes to really understand that someone wasn’t getting murdered. because WHO SCREAMS AND WALL POUNDS AND RUNS BACK AND FORTH at 2 in the morning?

whatever. I guess it was all fine and good, but it really sounded like they were breaking down the house down there. turns out? just drunk and rowdy. death count: zero.

I feel old.


...in other news, i saw DEXTER at the gym on thursday evening. its like, he's stalking me. except hey! mr. dexter! i didn't kill anyone (yet)! so leave me alone and stop trying to race me on the treadmill!!! kthxbai.

12.08.2007

my man got MONK'D

ok. so i had a party, naturally, to celebrate aaron's official "TV DEBUT!" it was small-ish because the man of honor was not actually in the state, you know. but it was nice.

the facts are these:

  • i braved bristol farms ALL BY MYSELF and procured three varieties of cheese! olive tapenade! a rustic bread loaf! three different kinds of wine! exotic vegetable "chips"!, sugar free red bull! fancy bottles of water! holiday blend coffee!!.... [normally, i have to admit, i'm a little intimidated by Bristol Farms. 1) because it's RIDICULOUSLY expensive 2) fancy people shop there and 3) it's RIDICULOUSLY expensive. however! when celebrating such things as Your Husband's TeeVee Debut, no expenses should be spared.]
  • the guest list included: my brother-in-law and his wife; newly-engaged jamie & johnny; newly-living-in-sin liana & tal and, of course, eddie the wonder roommate.
  • aaron's performance was: outstanding. he looks AMAZING on the "small" screen
  • i have a STELLAR WINE BUZZ
  • i am so proud

i think, for now, that just about sums it up. however. a little math problem for you:

5 bottles of wine + 1 aaron coming home on sunday + 2 parents arriving in town on tuesday on our 16-year dating anniversary =

_________________________________________________________

please leave your short essay answers in the comment form below.

cheers, b*tches.

12.07.2007

so cool.

aaron on teevee. so awesome.

12.05.2007

how'd you get here?

a snapshot of recent keywords that ultimately led some very interesting people (no doubt) to this here blargh.

47.93% lolthom
9.09% rubiquity.blogspot.com
7.44% office holiday games
5.79% office holiday party games
4.96% hiphopapotamous
2.48% kroq choclet rain
2.48% what is lolthom
1.65% rubiquity
1.65% blargh relegated!
1.65% craving horseradish
1.65% lemonic
0.83% prison break bleeps
0.83% is kibble n bits unhealthy]
0.83% poo toy
0.83% office holiday game
0.83% rhymenocerous and the hiphopapotamous
0.83% kevin and bean don't bogart that joint
0.83% papa smurf video i feel good
0.83% office holiday party ideas, games
0.83% the opposite of trust is not trust
0.83% claire's dad killed nathan
0.83% jennifer garner
0.83% subway fiesta sub
0.83% hiphopapotamous and rhymenocerous
0.83% keep it to the knees
0.83% michael c. hall
0.83% lolthom means


interesting, no?

12.04.2007

shmoozin

last night my co-worker KB and i attended the juno premiere in westwood. KB had never been to a Red Carpet Premiere before, and after getting rejected by (1) my husband and (2) another co-worker, i asked him to be my +1.

ps. he was THRILLED.

i had already seen an industry screening of the movie, but i wanted to see it again wearing a black dress and sparky jewelry, um, so i did.

the energy was awesome, you could tell everyone that made this movie was really proud of it and it's already been nominated for a bunch of awards, so that makes it extra fun. because nothing sucks more than going to a premiere for a bad movie.

anyway, we were treated to a live mini-concert immediately following the film courtesy of the moldy peaches . it was too cute.

then, we were off to the after-party where we positioned ourselves in the middle of all the hobnobbing, between jk simmons, ellen page, allison janey, sarah silverman, jimmy kimmel and rainn wilson. we just slithered in and made ourselves comfortable.

KB was on a mission to obtain himself a celebrity girlfriend (top choice: jennifer garner), but alas, it was not meant to be. not meant to be LAST NIGHT, that is. but KB is young, he's got time on his side. and a healthy dose of confidence, so go KB!

after an hour or so, things started winding down and we decided to end the evening just before our car turned back into a pumpkin.

to summarize: awesome cast, great film. go see juno tomorrow (in NY & LA) and, eventually, nationwide....


see pics of the stars on the red carpet: here

12.02.2007

doin' it


  • i'm very very very glad the blog challenge has ended. you can't really appreciate the pressure of blogging every day for an entire month unless, well, you've done it. so for those of us who did it: CONGRATS! and for those who haven't? or for those who somehow pussed out along the way? well, um, suck it!

  • i'm in the middle of a week-long rally which has so far involved: watching football with the guys at pink taco, comedy night at comedy union, an evening with southern folk and inappropriate jokes about Spotted Dick and a wedding overlooking laguna beach.

  • in the next few days i will: attend a premiere i am very excited about, go to my company holiday party and then? send my husband off to minnesota sans-a-moi.

  • then? i will be left to my own devices for an ENTIRE WEEKEND and i am guessing? insanity will ensue. or? i will finally clean out the stupid damn closet i've been threatening to clean out for, like, a few years.

  • probably not.

  • MORE likely? i will dress my dog in a dress and we will have a tea party.

  • DONT.BE.JEALOUS

11.30.2007

ALERT ALERT ALERT

OMG! IT'S RAINING IN LA.


prepare to get wet.

lolthom

the #1 keyword search bringing people to the BLARGH! this week is "lolthom." i guess because it pops up in my feed to dooce ?

anyway, i figure i may as well give all the searchy mcsearchersons something to look at. here it is, the item that is making my blargh a sensation this week:





SOURCE

11.29.2007

survivor. rocks.

best reward challenge everrrrr tonight.

man.

mullllllllllllllllllllllet!

best probst quote: "the opposite of trust is... not trust."

so true, so true.




and not to spoil anything for those who have not seen it yet, but aaron is 100% done watching the show based on who got voted out tonight. oh, aarrrrron.



go, mullet.

god damn mexican foods.

as i sip on a glass of delicious rose, i ponder what, oh what, should i write about tonight? i only have one day left of the nablopomo *, so i figure i should try to go out with somewhat of a BANG.

but man alive! i'm just running on alcohol fumes here. i mean, regular fumes. i mean, um. um. um.

what? i'm not addicted to wine. WINE IS ADDICTED TO ME.

anyway!

i spent a good couple of hours at pink taco tonight half-heartedly watching the "mutha effing cowboys" edge out the "god damn packers." i also watched a few co-workers get a little punch-drunk, so i took the high road and took it upon myself to order a Big F*cking Plate of nachos in addition to Some Delicious Sweet Corn Tamales to ensure that they had SOMETHING to absorb the, um, TEQUILA they were drinking.

maybe i have a career in "mommying" after all.

anyway, i arrived home with a fancy bottle of wine in hand to celebrate the fact THAT AARON WORKED WITH GARY SINISE earlier today. it's chilling in the fridge at the moment.

but god damn, what a day to remember.

ps. gary sinise is super nice, according to aaron.

in other news, i can barely string together a sentence, much less an entry. so you know, thanks for stopping by the trainwreck i call my "blargh."



*a.k.a blog a day for a month challenge

11.28.2007

subtlety.

ok so.

a lot of of you have been asking me what i want for christmas. well, actually, 0.1% have ACTUALLY asked, but i've sensed that a lot of you are THINKING about asking me. well, wonder no more.

here comes a list of some of the most awesome DORK GIFTS ever.



in other words: BEST GIFTS EVER FOR MEEEEEEE!!




















you can buy me all of this at think geek.

happy dorkidays!

it just so happens.

on this occassion she's actually ready to leave work, and the cloak of darkness that envelops her office view isn't making things any easier.


but still, to leave before 6p always seems so naughty. so she waits, adds a few touches to existing projects. enough to be doing work, but with just the minimal amount of effort. besides, an urgent request might come in at any moment (it always seems to happen after 6p. just the way it is.)


yesterday, she worked a full 12-hour day from 8a to 8p without so much as a lunch break. because you have those kinds of days. and you work really hard sometimes to get lots and lots and lots done just so you can face the next day with a list that clocks in under 80 million things To Do.


at the end of her long day, she met a friend out for drinks and a light dinner. and she didn't roll in until after midnight. she kissed her husband and dog on their respective heads, and realized it had been 17 hours since she left the house. but, still, she must watch The Hills before crashing into sleepville.


the next day, a co-worker sheepishly peeks his head in and asks, "so are you just like crazy busy, like all the time these days?" and she nods her head yes. i mean, there's no shortage of work to do, even if there are ebbs and flows, it still just keeps on keeps on coming.

but you can't just work for work's sake, she knows this all too well. you must have some Priorities. such as?


life.


plain & simple.


her husband calls. he says they have tickets for iron & wine tonight, should they want them. another co-worker saunters in and invites her to watch the cowboys/packers game tomorrow night with the gang. her husband calls again with an invitation to see friends do stand-up comedy on friday. she quickly realizes that if she accepts these three invitations then she will be booked solid until next wednesday night, as she remembers her plans in place for saturday (tree decorating party), sunday (wedding in the OC), monday (red carpet movie premiere) and tuesday (company holiday party).


she thinks she does not have quite that much stamina and she, quite frankly, needs to visit her old friend The Treadmill tonight.


so she declines the invite to this evening's concert, although her soul weeps a little because of it. but she's ok with being booked solid from thursday to tuesday, just not from tuesday to tuesday.

but she thinks, life is good.

plus, it's pushing daisies//private practice night.


god love ya, hump day.

reading between the lines.

co-worker to me: hey, you look really nice today. is there any special occassion?
me: um, i just got my dry cleaning back? that's always an exciting occassion.

makes me wonder what i normally look like since i thought i just looked normal today.

i had dinner and some drinks with a high school friend from MN last night. she's stopping off in LA as part of a larger work trip that has, so far, included: hong kong, london and paris.

um.


why isn't that MY life?

anyway, it was so awesome to see her, even if it was just for a few hours. it's always somehow a relief to see the people you went to grade school with flourishing as jet-setting adults. it's like, hey, we came from a small suburb of minneapolis, but we're doing our god damn best to see the WORLD.

as opposed to those who have decided to settle into said hometown with houses, babies, cabinet fixtures and actual "yards" with "grass."

i'm happy for those friends, too, but it's just way harder for me to relate to a lifestyle that revolves around a mini-human. and house payments. and mortgages.

i used to think i would need to have a baby to fulfill my womanly destiny on this earth. the older i get, the more i think my destiny on this earth is actually just to be the best damn aunt in the world. the one that all the nieces (and future nephews?) look up to and want to go visit. it's all of the fun without any of the actual responsibility. and auntie ruby has a really, really nice ring to it.

so my point is this: my destiny? TO TRAVEL THE EARTH. not my destiny? TO POPULATE IT.

[disclaimer: opinions about babies always subject to change at any given moment should i suddenly discover one is in my belly. but for the moment, all intentions are to prevent humans living inside me. plus, where would i put all the wine if there was a baby in there?? i mean, let's be real, here.]




NO ROOM FOR WINE IN HERE:

11.27.2007

dear...

dear DEXTER,

your show is pretty much more awesome than anything on TV, unless you count regular TV, in which case, PUSHING DAISIES is the best thing i've ever seen in my entire life. but, anyway, your show is super awesome. thanks for that.


dear Gossip Girl,

even though i don't ever watch you (haven't missed an episode) i hear you are awesome (you ARE). so um, GO YOU!


dear Heroes,

you were really good last night. i'm really going to miss you.



dear The Weather,

you're hot, you're cold, you're confusing the ever-living sh*t out of me. i come to work in a skirt and i leave wearing leg warmers and a parka. the hell? last i checked this IS STILL CALIFORNIA, is it not? let's try to keep it a little more consistent so that i don't look like an escaped mental patient as i go to and fro. k thx bai.


dear Body Sculpting, World Beat Dance & Yoga classes,

my jeans? LOVE YOU GUYS. keep on doing what you're doing. is good.


dear Guy at Work,

i know i don't LOOK my age, but i DO THINK MY AGE. so, um, let's save the high-school drama stories for ourselves and/or maybe for some people in high school. i'm very sophisticated and mature, in case you hadn't noticed. in which case, hey look at me! i'm sophisticated and mature.


dear Tenna,

please update your blog for the love of Sweet Baby Jesus.


dear google reader,

i can't believe i didn't discover you sooner!!!!!! i have the biggest crush on you. you make my world so much brighter, easier and awesomer. LOVE YOU! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


dear Wonderful Readers,

COMMENTS, sweet COMMENTS.




**ps. NO WAY is this a good bye, sweet MNbird! i got no plans to go anywhere anytime soon. ;)

11.26.2007

pressure to cyber.

ok. i didn't go shopping on black friday. i KNOW i probably missed out on deals of A LIFETIME and that i am a bad wife/sister/daughter/dog mom/in-law etc. because i could have found FABULOUS items for all of the 1,000,983 people i've decided to buy gifts for this year at a BARGAIN BASEMENT rate.

but.

anyway.

so now i've been reading about all these CYBER MONDAY deals and i am feeling like i have to buy something just to feel like a contributing member of society.

but it's ok if i don't, right? RIGHT?

yeah, because i haven't transitioned into holiday merriment mode yet.

usually? it kicks in right around 12/24.

11.25.2007

spanked!

i had such a lovely 4-day weekend, i can barely believe i have to actually get up and be a functioning human being tomorrow. ah well. c 'est la vie or whathaveyou.

today was a particularly satisfying day for a few reasons.

  1. i ate my weight in thai food
  2. i ran 9.5 miles
  3. i "raced" "dexter" on the treadmill (*unbeknownst to him and also? he won)
  4. my vikqueens SPANKED the giants
  5. SPANKED
  6. i indulged in pinkberry
  7. did i mention my queens won? like, embarrassed poor eli manning
  8. also? my patriots won. well, my randy moss did, anyway.

i think that's about it.

and, back to the grind.



11.24.2007

'aroons


so aaron is a HUGE fan of macaroons. like, HUGE.

so today when i was at three dog bakery looking for the perfect treats for cosette's birthday party, it's no surprise that mutt aroons made the list. i mean, come ON. HOW DELICIOUS does that sound? i also bought large and small PUPCAKES. and a catnip toy, even though my dog is a dog, and not actually a cat.

but whatevs.

i'm sure there are 18 things about what i've written so far that would be considered legitimate grounds to HAVE ME COMMITTED, but hey, does it LOOK like i care?

anyway. what i love about my lovely friends is this: as soon as i busted out the muttaroons for my lovely little birthday girl to eat, my sister-in-law got inspired to MAKE macaroons that were fit for HUMAN consumption.

and also? they broke out delicious, high-priced wine. so this is how we celebrated: my dog, two other dogs, me, my husband and my brother & sister-in-law ALL drank wine and ate some version of chocolate macaroons.

f*ckin awesome, i say.

also? i say: time for more wines.

is it just me or...

...is myspace suddenly like, not cool AT ALL?

...is the idea of going to see enchanted super exciting?

...does my house smell like pumpkin pie?

...is it totally weird that my baby dog turns 49 today?

...are you nervous that the writers' strike is going to last way too long?

...has 2007 gone by crazy fast?

...is this a copout for entry #24?

11.23.2007

scraping the barrel.

i think people are either leftover food fans or they're not. there doesn't seem to be any in between. i always cry a little inside when people don't bring home their uneaten food from restaurants or when we finish a big meal at someone else's house and the uneaten food goes in the garbage. i cry.

i'm a huge fan of leftovers. it may or may not be as delicious the second time around, but it definitely reminds you of the first time around, which i always think is pretty awesome.

obviously, thanksgiving is one of the biggest and BEST leftover situations ever. i actually look forward to finishing the meal so i can rest and then go back for round two late late late in the evening, or, even better, for brunch the next day.

i don't want to brag (i totally do), but we do thanksgiving like we walked out of a fancy magazine. everything is done beautifully, and the presentation is amazing. i can't take all (or any) credit for this, as it's my in-laws who are the culinary geniuses. but i can damn sure enjoy the fruits of their labours.

anyway, i just finished the best day-after meal i think i've ever had. it rivaled yesterday's dinner because i didn't actually have to wait for it. i just plopped myself down at my brother-in-law's table and dug in like i just got back from an weekend on survivor island.

and now i'm just counting down until i can dig into the "care package" they sent home with me.


oink *burp* oink, baby.

ps. 90 minutes of cardio allows me to do this with ZERO guilt today. thank god for the treadmill.

11.22.2007

shake that thing.

instead of the usual treadmill run wherein i race myself and/or whomever is lucky enough to be on the treadmill next to me, i opted for a double dose of exercise classes at swerve this morning.

the first was an hour-long sculpting class which was designed to, um, kick my butt. the second was a world beat workout designed to showcase my awesome raw talent when it comes to "rhythm" and "dancing." in fact, my dance moves have been compared to elaine from seinfeld, shakira and, uh, your momma.

(maybe i am the only one who has compared my dance moves to shakira's, but let's be honest, these hips don't lie.)

anyway, i don't really have a point other than to say, hey, it feels good to workout for two hours before facing a day of stuffing myself silly.


HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!


gobble, gobble, gobble......

11.21.2007

the city will be mine! MWAHAHAHAHHAHA.

so the bad thing about not going home to MN for the holidays is well, i don't get to see my lovely family (and rapidly growing nieces! 4 of them!). however, my parents are coming to visit in a few weeks anyway, and i get to paint the town red with them. (they are crazy, beleeev dat)

the good news is:
  • LA becomes more quiet and more manageable during the holidays because, like, EVERYONE leaves
  • i love lack of traffic
  • i have a beautiful set of in-laws in LA that can cook the living daylights out of a turkey
  • they live stumbing distance away
  • so if there was traffic, i could walk home if i wanted to
  • i get to clean my closet (SO EXCITED!)
  • i don't have to suffer through a northwest flight
  • no plane-induced dehydration
  • plenty of wine-induced dehydration
  • i have absolutely NO agenda for the next four days except this: eat, drink, run my ass off, REPEAT

happy thanksgiving eve, my lovelies!

11.20.2007

upward drunkability.

so maybe i forgot to mention that when i went out sunday night and partied at the four seasons, i was with one of my high-level co-workers from NY. turns out? she's pretty awesome, which was evidenced by the fact that she let aaron & i crash her pad in central park when we were in town for the marathon a few weeks ago.

anyway, to repay her kindness and generosity, we thought we'd treat her to the $15 prix fixe menu at one of our favorite restaurants (we are soooo classy). only, she opted NOT to do the prix fixe and instead ordered off the *gasp* regular menu. she can't help it that she's fancy. but she DID indulge in the $10 bottle(sssss) of wine with us. or were they water? because good! god! damn! those bottles went down like chilled agua.

anyway, over the course of the evening as i got progressively more awesome and sophisticated, i confessed that i really really really, like, wanted to get more involved with some of the higher level work stuff. because obviously, if i can drink $10 bottles of wine like a fish, god knows what i can do whilst wielding more responsibility with our client's BILLION DOLLAR BUDGETS. right?

so she chuckled and back-burnered the information. and off we went to party at the four seasons.

cut to the part where my friend gently harrassed david spade.

cut to the part where i harrassed the guy who played the stalker on blades of glory.

cut to the part where we all kind of SUBTLY noticed kid rock at the end of the bar.

cut to the end of the night where i was asked to "not take a nap" on the couch in the bar area.

and then cut to today when i had a nice email in my inbox from her with the subject "per our drunken conversation...." to which i GASPED. oh shit. what did i say ...

it was only when i opened and read the email that i realized this was a GOOD thing and that she had just planted the seed for me taking on more responsibility starting, oh.. right about now.

so yay!

moral of the story? don't ever confuse a guy that has a beard for david grohl just because he has a beard. chances are? it's not him. and if it is? he probably totally likes people who fall asleep on couches at the four seasons bar... so hey, on second thought, knock yourself out.

this soup is hottt

Tenna: this soup makes me SO hot
Ruby: hahaha
Ruby: that is funny to me
Tenna: hahahaha
Tenna: like temp hot
Ruby: riiiiiight
Tenna: not like "oh thai soup you love me long time" hot
Ruby: suuuure
Ruby: but like "oh thai soup you make me feel so warm inside and let's snuggle" kind of hottt
Tenna: yes, exactly!

11.19.2007

nothing is funnier than a good poop toy.

ok so, i might have regressed to the mental state of a 3rd grader, but this article about crazy, weird toys from around the world had me laughing so hard i almost simultaneously peed and hurt myself (in reality, i did neither of those things, but still, UM HILARIOUS)

it features such toys as this plush pee & poo set:


i know! why didn't they have this toy when i was young? i could have been the envy of my friends.

but please, run along and read for yourself. you'll probably be a better person if you do.

party like a ?

the thing is, when someone comes to town that you used to party with in college, you tend to regress back to your college selves.

only, without the resiliency to bounce back.


basically, i'm hurting today after a long, hard weekend of pure hollywood-inspired debauchery.

it included, but was not limited to:

indian food, thai food, wine bars, live music, kid rock, david spade, the four seasons, sunday supper at dominicks, yoga, more yoga, running, hiking, beaching, hollywood adventures, shopping and etc.

to summarize: good effing times. and also? I AM SPENT.

good night!

11.18.2007

uh.

do you ever wake up after a night of partying and wonder to yourself, "am i still drunk?"


yeah, me neither.

11.17.2007

namaste.

so my friend heather is a yoga instructor in minnesota. as part of her visit, she wanted to go to some yoga classes to pick up some hot new moves and such.

i haven't done yoga since about a week before the big race. turns out? yoga kicked my ass yesterday, as did a little hike we took. me sore.

but? we decided to go again today anyway.

is it weird that doing yoga two days in a row has made me ALMOST as sore as running for four and a half hours in one day?

it really does kind of hurt to walk right now.

i'm such a puss.

11.16.2007

well.

so far today i slept in, went for a hike and spent an hour at the yoga studio.

next i will get a pedicure, go to happy happy hour and then party.


why isn't every day like this?

11.15.2007

happy friday!

i know for you suckers, it's actually thursday. but for the me, it's Friday because i'm opting out of working tomorrow.


opting out.


in other SUPER EXCITING NEWS, the holiday episode of monk will be airing on 12/7/2007. set your DVRs for the exciting episode with lots of Monk-Shooting-Santa-Clause-Action and also?


AARON IS GUEST STARRING!!!


just a little thing we like to call his TELEVISION DEBUT.


!!!!!!

aaron also just booked a guest star on an upcoming episode of CSI:NY. updates on that to come.


I mean, when you're hot, you're hot.


en fuego.

Halfway!

so it's day 15 of the nablopomo challenge and so far, so good. except maybe? my posts are less meaty than usual and don't have the right amount of fortitude.

but no one said you had to write 30 QUALITY posts. just, um, 30 posts.

as it is, i am TRYING my hardest to be entertaining on an every day basis. but listen, people. it turns out that I'M JUST NOT THAT FUNNY. and also? writing a lot is HARD. now i can kinda relate to those people out on the picket lines.

except? they get paid for writing and i just get a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart.

11.14.2007

dirty.

so i spent a good portion of last night cleaning my bedroom, bathroom and the office. hell, i even washed the dishes and did the laundry and put everything away this morning. my goal? to have the house as clean as possible before the cleaning lady comes today.

because i can't have the cleaning lady thinking we are SLOBS, now can i?

not coincidentally, my friend heather is flying in from MN tomorrow night and will be staying the weekend.

we're going to eat food off the floor on account of how clean it will be. it's going to be GOOD EFFING TIMES, YA'LL.

11.13.2007

um.

i was planning to funnel all my energy and passion into helping eradicate KILLER MONKEYS, but then paris hilton brought to light the DRUNKEN ELEPHANTS epidemic.

now, i don't know WHAT to do.

heroes?

just in time for the writer's strike, i think heroes is finally getting good.


figures.

11.12.2007

next.

i'm back to my pre-marathon weight.

just in time for the holidays.

i'm finally feeling like my old self and slithering into pants that were getting way too tight during training.

so let me get this straight:
marathon training = fat, puffy feeling.
post-marathon lack of training = fitting nicely into skinny jeans.

why the hell did i do this again?

oh right. sense of accomplishment.

11.11.2007

seven years ago.

11.11.00






happy anniversary to us.


11.10.2007

birth control.

i went to a baby shower today. and, i confirm i am about 110% not ready to have a baby anytime soon.

i mean, someone gave the mom-to-be BUTT PASTE.

THE HELL? i don't even WANT to know.

so that was good.

although, i am VERY happy for everyone with babies. they are all really awesome and yes i want to see 1,000,000 pictures of them. no really, i do.

who was it that said, dreams are like pictures, you only really want to see/hear about them if you're in them. i don't know either, but whoever said it is pretty awesome.


in other news: guess who ran 6 miles today? and guess who's looking for a half marathon to run? OH SHIT. the b*tch is back.

(running a marathon is like having a baby. eventually, the pain memories subside and you think HEY I KNOW WHY DON'T I DO THAT AGAIN. or so i'm told)

11.09.2007

dark and dank.

so we dug our way through the throngs of WGA picketers at the Fox lot today and made our way to houston's at the century city mall. only, it was an hour wait. FOR LUNCH.

so the, um, seven of us headed upstairs to PINK TACO instead and dined in the dark, dank atmosphere. indeed, it was a pleasant experience enhanced by margaritas and chardonnay.

and yeah, i said DANK. WHAT?

(ps. it really wasn't dank. i just like to pretend it was because it gives a better :feel: to the story.)

DANK! fun word.

anyhoodle.

as we exited, i stipulated: "it's always weird when i leave a dark, pink taco and enter into the light of day."

i know! i should know better now that i've been trained in harrassment. ah well.

interestingly enough, i had a note when i returned from a blog reader whom i've never met that saw me at the PINK TACO. AND DIDN'T SAY HI! whatever, shy guy.

hidden immunity.

so i'm finally all caught up on survivor. and !&*#^!&*(#^@&*(!!

the more i watch, the more bummed i am that i'm not on the show.

it's so riveting these past few weeks. totally probably because we are a little bit crushing on james, which means that we are totally invested in seeing him be successful. but what worries me is that we are totally invested in james.




which means, uh-oh.

because, well, my track record for seeing people i like make it all the way is ...pretty much 1 for 1000.

odds? not so good.



oh, james.


in other news, amazing race just started up this past week. it's like double dose of awesome.

i'm tempted to brush off the old video camera and make some more audition videos for both shows.

maybe? 2nd time is a charm.

visualize this.

**click to enlarge**



morning excitement

getting ready to start!

running scared


can you find the ninjas?


SWEET VICTORY!





nothing but smiles!




time to party!

11.08.2007

***SAVE THE DATE***OFFICE HOLIDAY PARTY!!! fun games food booze

this subject line of a recent email is why i love where i work.

among other reasons, of course.

and ps, is it ALREADY holiday party season? crickey.

the one where i relinquish my stranglehold on the stache

it has been brought to my attention, albeit a bit late, that this month has been dubbed by some as "MOVEMBER."

for me to post this information on my blog is like me saying, hey, maybe it DOES make sense to drink non-alcoholic beer or drink decaf coffee. essentially, i mean that this goes against my innate nature. it goes against my grain, if you will.

since, well, i HATE moustaches. HATE.

but anyway, i will put my hate for face fur aside for this very important announcement.


Movember - Changing the face of Men's Health
Movember (the month formally known as November) is a charity event held during November each year.


At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants known as Mo Bros then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their Mo (Australian slang for moustache) and along the way raise as much money and awareness about male health issues as possible.

Movember culminates at the end of the month at the Gala Partés. These glamorous and groomed events will see Tom Selleck, Hulk Hogan and Borat look-a-likes battle it out for their chance to take home the prestigious Man of Movember title.

While growing a Mo (moustache) is left to the guys, Mo Sistas (ladies who support their guys or love Mo's!) form an important part of Movember by recruiting Mo Bros, helping to raise funds and attending the highly anticipated Gala Partés.

But it's not all fun and games, so why the extreme behavior?

Which ever way we look at it, men are far less healthy than women. The average life expectancy for men is many years less than females; seven years less for African American men and five years less for Caucasian men.

READ MORE HERE

11.07.2007

back on the horse?

i admit it. i was a little hesitant/scared to run again. i had heard enough horror stories about people who finished marathons and then, like, literally hung up their running shoes. i didn't want to be one of those people because, hi, i love running. even if i hate it. i still love it. right?

so i got home from work today and of course, aaron the freak of nature was all, hey i ran today. and i was all oh, really. that's nice (!!!) so my immediate reaction was: I MUST RUN TONIGHT. so it was already almost 8p and i was starving, but whatever, it was running shoes on and i was out the door and then i was at the gym. standing on the treadmill.

in my mind i was having a conversation that was kind of like: ONLY ONE WAY TO CONQUER YOUR FEAR IS TO FACE IT. and by face it, i mean RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

anyway, long story short, i was able to pump out 2 miles on the treadmill, 1 on the elliptical and 3 on the bicycle.

so, i guess? im making my way back into the game one step at a time.

i need a new hobby.

horse face.



here's what a wind-burnt peg-legged marathon-finishing person looks like. and then there's that person's husband who wasn't really very sore at all and also? wore his hat, mittens and long-sleeved shirt the entire time and wasn't "that hot."




me? i chucked my hat, mittens and long-sleeved shirt at mile 2 because i was already over-heating.




i love la.

don't get me wrong, i do loves me some new york. but i have to say, there are probably a lot of places i would rather be hanging out after running a marathon. one of those places? MY CAR. oh my sweet car. how i missed it so. i actually didn't mind sitting in my regular commute traffic this morning because, guess what? i wasn't walking down the street in 4" heels in the windy cold. i was sitting in my car in 4" heels in the not-so-very cold. also? i had my KROQ pumping and my sugar-free red bull fizzing. i was not at the mercy of public transportation purveyors nor was i crowded into a train with people who smell weird.

but again, normally, i can't get enough NY.

i just need to go back when i'm my normal, walk/run-loving self.


ya heard?

11.06.2007

piglet.

i'm not going to lie. i've been a giant piglet since the day i arrived in nyc. i ean, i was carb-loading and eating way more than a petite girl should BEFORE the marathon, but i think last night's all-you-can-eat chicken wing excursion at blondies might have been one of the most gluttonous (YET DELICIOUS) displays of pigginess yet.

but, um, so good. all you can eat! for $11.95. amazing.

also good? lots of wine & vodka sodas.

the only part that wasn't so good? hot sauce combined with wind-burnt lips. yeouch.

anyway, in case you were wondering, i feel fabulous today, i.e., my legs work again.

who knows? i just may be back on the treadmill this weekend.

or maybe i will just be lying on my belly getting massaged all weekend. either or.


last but not least, i made it into the NY Times marathon section yesterday. so cool.

11.05.2007

f*cking ow.

ok, so. my unofficial official time according to nycmarathon.com is 4 hours and 39 minutes. i happy about this time for a couple reasons.

1. it was under 5 hours
2. i kicked katie holmes' butt (she finished in 5 hours and 29 minutes)

the race itself was a huge test of fortitude for me. my worst nightmare came true when my IT band syndrome pain kicked in just before the halfway point. i had a decision to make at the point: walk the rest of the way or push through the pain and finish with pride.

guess which i picked?

so, at that point i was on pace to finish in 4:26, which i guess isn't too far off from what i actually finished at, but i went from averaging 9:45 per mile to over 10:30 per mile in the 2nd half. all things considered, i'm actually pretty proud of myself for pushing through the pain for more than half of the race. normally when my knee starts hurting like it did, i just stop. oh, and for additional fun, my right knee which NEVER gives me problems started hurting as well. it was sheer insanity that allowed me to run in that much pain.

but also? it was aaron's super strength that pushed me through. he was 100% positive the whole time, even when i was yelling F*CK!!!! at the top of my lungs. he was a rock of awesomeness and there really isn't any way i would have finished the way i did without him. we crossed the finish line holding hands in the air, and it was one of the BEST feelings i've ever had.

also? the spectators ROCKED my face off. it was so inspiring and awe-inducing to see the turnout. the city and the day was beautiful.

but today? i'm staying "home" from work, working from my hotel room because my legs? aren't working right now.

11.04.2007

finished.

i did it. it was painful, amazing, exhilirating, frustrating, beautiful and crazy.


i'm so glad it's over, but i'm so glad i did it.


unofficial time (per the GPS watch): 4:35
clock time: 4:55
offical time: stay tuned!



thanks to the city of NY for making my first and LAST marathon experience a f*cking awesome one.


NOW! we party!!!!!!!

11.03.2007

loaded.

i'm eating myself silly. last night marks the first occassion in recent memory that i've ordered pasta for dinner.

and man, was it good. we ate at giorgione and i had OCTOPUS to start, and theni had the risotto with scallops, mushrooms and asparagus. i finished it off with PUMPKIN gelato. my friends, it was so much yum i could barely handle it.

normally, im all about protein and salad and super mostly boring. but not here, and not now.

if you're going to carb load, might i suggest NEW YORK for the occassion? yumster.


ps. i feel like a beluga whale with all this "stored energy." and now? i'm off to little italy to meet a bunch of friends and get even fatter.

cheers~

11.02.2007

i've been trained in harrassment.

traveling to NY didn't get me out of manager harrassment training. oh, no, it didn't.

i've been on a webex presentation (INTERACTIVE! WITH CHAT FEATURES!) with my LA counterparts for more than an hour going through the do's and don'ts of harrassment.

essentially: harrassment is a don't. GOOD TO KNOW.

it shouldn't have taken this much of my precious time to figure that out, but hey. there are some really retarded people with management jobs in this world.

oh shit, i just made a discriminatory comment. i'm fired.

11.01.2007

another thing to do.

november is officially national blog posting month or somesuch, which essentially means i am going to attempt, along with my fellow bloggers, to post ONE ENTRY PER DAY FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF NOVEMBER.

good luck to me, and good luck to us all.


nablopomo


as you were.

we are here.

the dork ship has landed. we've been running around the city of new york with our official marathon backpacks on, like chickens with our heads cut off trying to obtain everything we need to before the onslaught of "OTHER" touristy marathoners befall the city.

but finally now, we are officially marathon bib holders and we are completely stocked up on offical marathon gear. EFF YES MUTHA EFFERS.

additionally, we have walked nearly a marathon in the city trying to find a satisfactory place to eat. we settled on cheap chinese/japanese food and cheap wine, and listen, you wont hear any complaints from me because.. well, i am about to pass out on my keyboarzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10.29.2007

lemonic.

so jamie & johnnie got engaged yesterday. therefore, a bunch of us had an impromptu dinner & champagne celebration on the patio at dominick's for the purposes of CELEBRATING THEIR AWESOMENESS.

dudes, i love LOVE.

i made aaron try limoncello after dinner (this after wine, wine and champagne) and everyone was like RUBY YOU ARE SO HARDCORE. and i was like yeah, no.

but yeah. i am.

remind me why i think it's a good idea to drink when i have to get up at 6A to run in the morning:

INSERT REMINDER HERE.

anyway, it was worth it, of course. because jamie & johnnie are so much awesome. so much awesome it hurts.


2007 is a year of L-O-V-E.

and i loves it.

10.27.2007

restless brains syndrome.

i guess this is one of the first fridays in a really long time where i've actually been OK to stay up late, seeing as my scheduled training run tomorrow is only 3 miles.

i'm a little bit freaking out, i have to say. all the articles i've read so far are like, DONT FREAK OUT. YOU NEED TO CONSERVE ENERGY. EAT MORE. RUN LESS. but it feels, like, really weird. i feel like i need to run at least 10 miles tomorrow.


but no.

so yesterday, i was scheduled for a 3 mile run, but instead, i ran 4, you know. and also?? i increased my pace. just to satisfy my crazy brains. i had visions of myself running around the SMU campus, but i didn't want to get lost and totally miss my appointed meetings, so i treadmilled it up and ended up racing myself, per usual.

so i think tomorrow will be a leisurely run. all the articles, books and etc. i've read SAID THAT IS SHOULD BE SO.



we'll see. my running leggs are itching to go.


here's my whole running log. yeah, i did that.




10.24.2007

get your banana OUT.

i walked by keith's area today to say hello and shoot the shizzle. i noticed he had some mini reese's peanut butter cups in a bowl, begging me to take one. so i did, thankyouverymuch. and then i walked over to tenna's area, unwrapped the little treasure and sunk my fangs into it.


DUDE. WTF.


something was wrong. so i slithered back over to keith and was like, DUDE, WTF. i must try another, something is weird.



and so then he was all, "oh yeah, they have BANANA in them."


at that point, as i finished the second one, i decided that i hated banana in my reese's peanut butter cups. who's dumbass idea was this???



oh, um, i guess it was elvis.



yum, chitlins.

so i'm off to dallas in a few hours to hang out at SMU for a day and listen to presentations from college kids on a research topic that we actually commissioned and will use in our decision-making process for upcoming projects. it involves movies & advertising, so is a pretty fun topic, if i do say so myself.

i just got the email from the project director with the schedule of events, what to expect, etc. in the final paragraph of the note, she reveals:

"The students are both excited and a bit anxious about presenting to agency executives. For some of them, it's their first time to participate in such a presentation."

i remember when i was just a young college squirt getting ready to embark on my fancy shmancy advertising career, and we visited an agency in downtown Minneapolis. there was one hot, tall blond executive who talked to us about "how to get in to the business," and i remember thinking, WOW i wonder if I will ever be as awesome as her.

well, i'm still not hot, tall or blond, but damnit if i don't have a pretty kickass career in advertising doing what i LOVE.

and so it goes.


ps. i'm totally going to grill those little rapscallions tomorrow. they better bring their GAME.

10.23.2007

not so much.

we were driving home last night and i caught a whiff of the evening air and said,

"mmm, it smells like fireplace-food-winter smell!"

and aaron agreed.


today he called me and said,

"remember that smell from last night?"

"yes."

"you know, that's malibu burning."


f*ck.

10.21.2007

defenses are down.

i guess it was bound to happen. you don't just get to (literally) run yourself ragged and couple that with some hearty partying and expect to stay 100% healthy.

so as of last night, aaron and i have the "sick." i woke up last night at 3am with the worst sore throat, i think, ever. additionally, a mosquito had sucked blood out of my wrist, and it was itching like mad. as if that wasn't enough, the sliver in my thumb that i had acquired from a party earlier in the evening that i thought i had surgically removed, turns out, was still somewhat intact and was, indeed, throbbing.

so then. throbbing, itching and hurting, i dragged myself into the kitchen and popped a few ibruprofens and slammed a few emergen-c packets. and then back to bed for some mostly restless sleep.

i feel much better after 75 minutes on the elliptical, 1 sugar-free red bull, 1 coffee, 23 hot & spicy bbq chicken wings, 8 squares of dark chocolate and 4 more packets of raspberry emergen-c.

i'm still a little stuffy, extremely f*cking tired, sneezy and generally slothy. however, i expect to be back to 100% tomorrow, because that's just how i do.

on survivor.

i know i haven't written much about my beloved survivor this season, and i promise it's not because i'm bitter that i didn't make the cut.


well, it's a little bit because i'm bitter.

but anyway. this week's "shocking" tribe mix-up never felt like a good idea, ESPECIALLY when it came to keeping some of my favorite players (james, aaron, etc.) alive. this was confirmed when dear, sweet Aaron "got Nick'd" this week.

and in case you didn't watch big brother 8 OR in case you did, but forgot, the getting rid of Nick move did not end well for anyone who thought it might.

i can only hope PG's tribal life is swiftly cut short the same way, say, Dustin's was, and i can only hope that she 100% DOES NOT SEE IT COMING. cocky b*tch.






*getting "nick'd" refers to the premature ousting of the cute, nice, overly competitive threat in the game WAY before said person deserves to go.

10.19.2007

before you dress...

please read top-10-topical-halloween-costumes-everyone-will-be-wearing-even-though-we-wish-they-wouldnt

and make sure you read the comments as well.


and if you get punched in the iphone touchpad on halloween, don't say i didn't warn you.
i'm not sure what i was thinking when i agreed to partake in back-to-back nights of debauch this week.

first there was the now infamous "prom" party [wherein i wore a chocolate brown dress with chocolate brown pumps with pink polka dots and an allegedly awesome pink wrap with golden accents (i don't know, everyone kinda kept commenting on it and touching it)]. and it was just three vodka sodas on a relatively satiated tummy, so no big whoop, right. but i DID get home kind of late and i HAD woken up that morning at 5 effing 30 AM to run 10 miles, but anyway.



then last night, becase my co-worker was in the mood to happy hour wednesday and i had to decline, i promised him a happy hour THURSDAY, AS PER USUAL even though i felt like warmed-over ass all day from wednesday's actions. it was just two glasses of wine at XBAR once again, plus the best HOT & SPICY CHICKEN MORSELS i have ever tasted. and then maybe another half glass of wine when i got home and then maybe it was me falling asleep halfway through a DVR'd episode of the office. and then maybe i was up at the ass crack of dawn again runnning around in circles, literally, at the park down the way.

[sidebar - is it just me, or are these hour-long episodes of the office really really weirding you out? curious.]

but you know, i'm not looking for sympathy here.

really, i just wanted to document that i am on a 5-week streak of thursday evening happy hours, which just so happens to coincide with a 5-week streak of running some of my longest runs ever (14, 16, 18 & 20 - milers) and i think to myself, hey, that's interesting.

i hope you do too.

tomorrow's just a 10-miler, btw. unless we feel frisky enough to do a half marathon, you know, for kicks.

and on that note. is it 5pm yet?

10.18.2007

curious.

last night's fabulous "prom" party was sponsored in part by red bull and it's hott cousin, sugah free red bull (SFRB). interestingly enough, four cans of SFRB mysteriously turned up in our fridge this morning.


coincidence?


EATMECRUNCHY.

i take a lot of things for granted. the fact that i live in los angeles where it rains 2.5 times per year. the fact that i can party on work nights and still roll in bright-eyed the next morning. the fact that i can ride both the big kid rides and the little kid rides at an amusement park, etc.


what i didn't realize was that i am also lucky in the cereal department. i've never had an issue with soggy cereal, but apparently it is an afflication that affects some people SO MUCH that a company had to go and invent a bowl to alleviate this devastating phenomenon. my old-fashioned solution has been to just, i don't know, not pour a gallon of milk into the bowl. but hey, that's just me. some people, allegedly, need this highly technical bowl to help them keep their cereal safe:





um. really? i mean REALLY??

my favorite testimonial goes like this: "I received my bowl yesterday - it's a great invention. Eating cereal is no longer a race against time." Miss K - Essex.

A RACE AGAINST TIME. it almost sounds like soggy cereal is worse than, like, global warming. And hey, maybe it is.

*Upon further investigation, it appears this is a company based in England. Those crazy brits.

Click here if you want to end your soggy cereal woes for good.

10.17.2007

coors light + running = ?

reason # 5303 why i like to run: free stuff

"Coors Light will be treating New Yorkers and our out-of-town guests to a variety of promotions at dozens bars and restaurants throughout New York City during the month leading up to the marathon. Be sure to stop by your local watering hole and check it out."

list of bars/details here


do you think coors light will be giving away sugar free red bull + vodka?

aaron kicked my ass.

i'm usually all about competition. but this usually only serves to make me happy when i like, win.

so when i am suddenly finding myself looking over at aaron's treadmill and seeing that he is running 8 miles per hour while i'm only running 6.8, i start to get a little, um, irritated. and at some point, even though i crank up my speed to 7.5 miles per hour (a little bit way too fast for a 10-mile run, but whatever) i realize i am not going to catch up, well then, i cry a little.

aaron's 10 mile run: 81 minutes.
my 10 mile run: 87 minutes.


ps. i don't recommend running 10 miles on the treadmill if you have a busy gym. those people "waiting" for us to finish were creeping me out. like, stop staring at my slower-than-aaron's time already, b*tches.

10.16.2007

wicked.

so this thing is pretty accurate. i asked it "am i awesome?" and it said yes. so there you go.



Ask The Spirits II

3rd prom's a charm.

aaron and i are attending "prom" tomorrow night. it's a fund-raising event with a raffle and everything.

this will be our, um, third prom together. we went to both my junior AND senior proms.

oh yeah, we did.


the question is this: fancy & cute attire, or tragically 80s prom theme?

10.13.2007

might wanna skip this one.

i did my last long training run today. the next long run i do will be 26.2 miles. i did 20 today relatively pain-free and i've never felt so good in my entire life.


yeah.


kinda like that.



so maybe i'll expand a bit. and also, guess what! only three weeks left of training and then I WILL BE DONE TALKING ABOUT MARATHONING! hall lay fvkcing loo yah.


ok, so aaron is shooting a film this weekend (the one he had to drop 10 lbs. for, making him extra scrawny and sickly-looking) so he opted out of the final training run (which is fine, he's good to go for the 'thon.) so i arranged to run with heather & brian, which is great because they tend to pace slower than me and i was hoping to do this last big one slow and stready indeed. oh and also? a much-needed change of scenery.


so we started in hermosa and the plan was to turn around at the marina. they even "hid" refreshments in the bushes to give us something to look forward to at 10.2 miles.


honestly, most of the run was pretty uneventful. it was BLISSFULLY uneventful because my knee pain that normally kicks in around 12-13 miles was dormant until 19.2. NINETEEN POINT TWO. i have never run more than 14 miles without having the onset of pain, and therefore, this will go down as MY BEST RUN EVER. im guessing the marathon will BE EVEN BETTER, but we will bask in the glow of this one for the next three weeks, won't we? OH YES WE WILL.


so anyway, i ran the slower pace with them most of the time. i would take my walk breaks and then have no problem catching back up to them. once we hit the turnaround point, i was feeling pretty awesome. i had my powergel and refilled my water bottle with powerade and we made our way.


we hit 11 and then 12 and then 13 miles and i was still pain-free, so somewhere around 13, i decided to run my regular pace. except, instead of averaging 10.5-11 minute miles, i was hovering around 9 minute miles for the final 7 miles. it felt so amazing. when i hit 16, 17 and 18 and was still pain-free, i realized i had been running with a high for about 5 miles and it was honestly, the best feeling ive ever known while running. i felt powerful and i felt energized.


by the time my knee pain set in, i was so close to the end it didn't even matter. i powered through and hit the 20-mile marker at 3 hours and 27 minutes (average of 10:22 per mile). heather and brian rolled in about 11 minutes later. yeah.


so what did i do different? well, last night i hung out at borders while aaron & eddie filmed the movie at our place (a story for another day). i just happened to pick up a book called "CHI RUNNING" it's AWESOME. it literally changed the way i ran today. i also got new shoes on tuesday (asics gel kayanos, my FAVORITE), i broke them in by running a 10-mile and a 4-mile run this past week, and they were probably to blame for a mostly pain-free run as well.


what i didn't do: pop ibruprofen the whole time. thank god. doing that scares me.


so there you have it. i just got done getting an hour-long deep tissue massage and i have a date for fat fish FATTY HOUR in a few hours and im going to drink some sake and CELEBRATE with heather & brian.



i am glowing.

10.12.2007

stinks so good.

if coming home from an evening out at x-bar with colleagues, clients and NY co-workers smelling like onion-laced mac & cheese, mozz balls and patron shots is wrong, then i don't want to be right.

*some of you might be like, hey whoa, i thought you had a ban on tequila. and you're right. i do. but that doesn't stop incompetent waitresses from "acccidentally" dumping a shot down your back, now does it?

holla.

10.10.2007

witching hour.

last year, aaron and i dressed as fidel castro & kim jong il. we threw some red & yellow mardi gras beads around our necks and called ourselves "the communist party." (aaron's the clever one, i am just along for the ride)

see it here

and here

it was a big "hit."

i'm not normally the hottest girl in the room, but i'm not usually THE UGLIEST. and last year for halloween, i was BY FAR the most unattractive thing at the party. not to mention that the party was thrown by actors and attended by, mostly actors. but whatever. as much as it was "fun, " i vowed to NEVER EVER again go as a scary korean dictator. or anything ugly or scary. ever again.

so that leads us to now.

what should i be?

i will beat you swiftly about the head and neck meat if you say any of the following:
  • "sexy" pirate (done it, 1,000,000x)
  • "sexy" hippie (my college go-to costume, 4x)
  • "sexy" satan (2x)
  • "sexy" avril lavigne (don't ask)
  • anyone with a penis
  • for that matter, hairy balls

so there you go. suggest away!

more ideas here

deathly awesome.

if you love dexter as much as i do (and if you don't, maybe we need to, um, "talk"), then i think you're really, really going to love dextering someone today.

oh trust me, you'll be glad you did.

jetsetting.

within the span of 24 hours, i have managed to book two trips on either side of my big race in NYC.

dallas (meh) the week prior and minneapolis (yay!) the week after.


frequent flier miles ME!

on heroes.

you can definitely tell how passionate i am about a show by how long i will actually be able to stand going without seeing it.

there are hardly ANY shows i will actually stay home to watch at the actual scheduled time they are on, unless i have nothing better to do. on occassion, i will actually schedule my life around watching a show when the network gods actually intended me to watch it. but again, rare. hello, that's why they invented the damn DVR. shows in this category currently: pushing daisies, private practice, dirty sexy money.

however, there were times when i arrived home late on school nights that also happened to be big brother nights and i either a) stayed up super late to watch or b) woke up super early to watch. that show, i was obssssssesssssed with. other shows of this caliber might include survivor, and maybe that's it.

then there are shows like heroes. i might not particularly have anything going on, but i'm not in any particular hurry to watch it. i don't often let more than one night pass before watching these shows, but i can tell that my passion is waning when i can STAND to wait. last year it was a category 2. now, a category 3 or ?

so getting to my point. i think heroes is mired in the dreaded sophmore slump. i tuned in 24 hours late to get my 'roes fix, and i just kept kind of shaking my head and going "really?" i mean "REALLY?!"

the good news: i found the nissan rogue, it's in ireland. yeah, pretty much.
the bad news: heroes is phoning it in, like big time. i won't say jumping the shark, yet, but let's just say the skis are in the water and they are pointing in the right direction.

10.09.2007

well hello, dave.

because my NY counterpart loves me with the heat of 10,000 suns*, he has secured aaron & i tickets to see letterman the day after i finish the marathon. i just want to point out that he received the request at 9:26 AM EST today and had the tickets secured by 2:56 PM EST.


dear mike,

YOU DA MAN.

sincerely,
rubes



*or else maybe he just likes me like a regular co-worker. probably that.

what i'm probably NOT going to wear.


[source]

but hey, mad props to the chicago marathon runner who did.

because i am awesome (and sometimes like to refer to myself in third person):

~rubiquity holmes had uncovered the following details about this totally sane person JUST FOR YOU!~

gender: male (amazing)

age: 34

from: london, england (EUROPEANS SO CRAZY!)

finsh time: 4:55:53 (not bad for a pair of hot, sweaty, hairy balls)

first name: patrick

last name: (WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT) COX!

ohhhh how i love it.

tourist, much?

i always make fun of people when they come to LA and get all excited to go see a live taping of something like, the LENO show of all things. because
a) um, leno sucks
b) hello, rookie tourist much?

but since my rules of nerdism only apply to others, i shamelessly hit up one of my NY counterparts to score me some tickets to one (or all?) of the following:

  1. letterman
  2. daily show
  3. conan
  4. SNL

to summarize:

people who come to LA to see talk shows being taped = lame

me going to NY to see talk shows being taped = awesome town

remind me to tell the story of the time aaron and i scored tickets to SNL many years ago, and it just so happened to be the evening when ashlee simpson pulled her now infamous lip-synching "trick."

good effing times, ya'll.

10.08.2007

a whole new world.

so today was officially our first day in our new office space. according to our office, our office was closed. but according to our biggest client, it was business as usual. our client hates columbus, obviously.

i volunteered to work because, mostly, i'm a giant kiss-ass. additionally, it means that i get a free day off on the day of my choosing. i also got to get into the new digs early and stake my claim, so maybe there was a full-blown strategy behind what looked like me gettin browns on my nose from the outside.

does that even make any sense?

anyhoo, i aim to focus on the negatives because i'm a cynical curmudgeon who resists change. and so here they are:

  • my commute has increased by 400%. oh sure....my previous commute was only 5 minutes, but whatever. 20 minutes feels like a year in comparison.
  • my new ID badge has a picture of "me" on it, but for some reason "me" looks like a meth-addicted buttah face
  • additionally, the ID does not give me access to my floor. so therefore, not only is it scary, it's useless
  • the big drawer of my desk is locked and the keys have gone missing. they will never be found, this i know in the bottom of my soul.
  • my new office is approximately on the opposite end of the universe from my all favorite co-workers. i have yet to make sense of the politics behind this, but i'm suspicious that all the "fun" i was causing at the old place is to blame

ok, so that was the bad. in fact, i have saved the best for last. because, indeed, there are some goods.

  • there's a giant grassy quad that makes me feel like i'm in college again
  • except, with more money
  • and less house parties
  • in this quad, some of my favorite restaurants including one with a WINE BAR
  • hello? a wine bar on "campus." it doesn't much get better than that.
  • coffee bean in the quad, coffee bean across the street, starbucks on the level between parking and our office building
  • i will never, ever be deprived of a caffeine fix
  • ever
  • giant shopping center with one of the better movie theaters in town? two blocks away, b*tches.
  • shoe shine in the building
  • not that i um, ever shine my shoes. but it's good to know i COULD IF I WANTED TO
  • i have a lovely view of the hollywood sign. in case i ever forget where i am...

and i guess maybe that concludes the positives.

anyway, the best news of all is that we are in a temporary space until february. at that point, we will be moving AGAIN. into the building next door, and onto the 13th floor.

dont. be. jealous.

10.07.2007

it's chilly here in hell.

the weirdest thing happened to me tonight. i was god damn rooting for the mutha effing cheese sucking packers against the stupid low rent dick lipped bears.

and then!!!! i saw a f*cking flock of pigs fly by my window!!!


...in other news, it was a good day for the vikings, because they didn't lose.

i mean, it was a BYE week, so they didn't actually PLAY or anything. but! they didn't lose. so, i win.

take that, suckahs.

so proud!

just a little shout out to my lil' brother who finished the most beautiful urban marathon in america


way to go, bro. ya make me PROUD!



10.06.2007

miles on these leggs.

this is my legs on 18 miles of running and limping and shuffling and etc.



3 hours, 3 minutes & 30 seconds.

i sleep now.

10.05.2007

whatever.

i guess it serves me right. last night i didn't plan to do happy hour, but then there i was, magically at the happy hour spot having another lemon drop martini. and then, tonight, i am supposed to go to a birthday party (ANOTHER ONE?) and i'm just sitting here on the couch in my yoga booty ballet outfit (much different than my running outfits, natch) contemplating how bad of a person i am if i opt out of celebrating tonight.

because, the thing is, i have to be up at 5a to run 18 miles tomorrow. so that puts a little damper on getting excited to go out TONIGHT.

i have a sneaky feeling that if i would have stayed in last night, tonight would be a little different.

whatevs.


*update: so i did end up going out. and celebrating. and of all the places in LA, the birthday girl chose one where you can technically smoke inside. so now i smell like a f*cking chimney. and so it goes.

10.04.2007

does this blog make me look fat?

this morning, as i got out of the car, the parking security guard let out a nice, loud whistle of the cat call variety. aaron was dropping me off today because i am getting "some work" done on my car, so i was both embarrassed and flattered as i kissed him goodbye.

but hey, i am wearing a skirt today and hey, thanks for noticing my sculpted calves, yo.

as i approached the security desk to check in (i was at the client's studio lot today), the guard made a big deal of saying HEY THAT WHISTLE WAS NOT FOR YOU! IT WAS FOR THAT GUY ACROSS THE STREET.

and i was like, oh. and inside, i died a little.

i mean, THE GUY ACROSS THE STREET? the hell?

and then i thought, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT???"

but i didn't SAY it, or anything.

10.03.2007

i'm in love with the pie hole.

i can't lie.

i loves me some pushing daisies.




cute it be any more adorable? and awesome? and assorted other "a" words? awwww.

things ive said via IM today.

ruubee3 (12:31:33 PM): it relates to specific things you are working on assmunch

ruubee3 (12:33:35 PM): i should squish his head

ruubee3 (1:32:02 PM): like a little retarded kid. no offense to retarded kids

ruubee3 (1:38:17 PM): music for breakfast, bitches

ruubee3 (2:13:42 PM): im pretty good at sussing out awesomeness

did you just call me fat?

so i read this blog post: did you just call me fat recently and thought it was hilarious. too good.

then, just now, i exited through the back hall entrance to take a little "bathroom break" and as i exited my secret back door, someone else exited another door at the same time. it was a pleasant and slim asian chap. being a gentlemen, he motioned for me to go on ahead of him. i then heard him say, "this hall just isn't big enough for the two of us." and then, immediately, he laughed nervously. i was caught off guard and my immediate reaction was to say, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?" but i didn't. instead, we both had a hearty laugh as we went our merry ways.

but, hey, do you think he just called me fat?


*upon re-reading this post, i realized that i am talking a lot about back doors and back entrances. and, as such, i feel the need to say: don't read anything into it you dirty whores.