stuff about where I live and play, and maybe some stuff about where I work and play.


running crazy.

assuming my friend can definitely get me an entry bib, i do believe i just commited to running the NYC marathon.

my eighteen week training schedule officially starts on monday 7/2.

i logged 7.7 miles today. only 18.5 less than an actual marathon.

holy shit.

additionally, i am planning to jump out of a plane this summer.

crazy, much?


building bridges.



i'm not sure what happened to me today. i showed up for a team-building off-site extravaganza at 8:30a today with SF red bull running through my veins. we did some personality profiling, created some protocol and solutions items and then built an amazing bridge, literally, out of rubber bands, plastic cups and tons of crepe paper.. also, tin foil, paper plates and paper clips. and listen! listen closely. our bridge held over 55 lbs of heavy weight while the other team's bridge only withstood 15 lbs. BUT THEY STILL WON. on beauty and creativity.


it was an upset the likes of which i haven't seen since the hills' spencer beat out freaking lauren LC conrad for freaking heidi's heart and friendship. SPENCER!??


i somehow ended up swapping secret stories over basiltinis at the intercontinental hotel with some of my favorite co-workers.

that, my friends, is evidence of a 100% successful team-buliding extravaganza.

tomorrow we are leaving work early to go see a movie and next week we somehow finagled w, th, and fri off even though we are only supposed to have 1/2 of tues. and wed. off. go figure.

have i mentioned lately that I LOVE MY JOB?

well. i do.



it's NOT that weird to go into my home bathroom and see that my lovely husband has forgotten to put the toilet seat down.

it's NOT that weird to fall ass-over-teacups into said toilet in the middle of the night when i have inadvertantly forgotten to look behind me in a sleepy fog-like haze.

(it IS pretty startling)

HOWEVER! it IS weird to walk into the women's bathroom at work as i did just now and see the toilet seat curiously in the "up" position. you just have to wonder what just went down.

or not.

i prefer ignorant bliss most of the time.



as i finished a set of really "intense" workout-ball-abdominal-exercises at the gym this morning, i heard a guy say "you're an ANIMAL!"

i looked over and realized he was, uh, talking to me.

since i was utterly unprepared for someone to comment on my ab workout (plus i was all sorts of tired since it was ass-crack-o'-dawn o' clock), all i could muster up was "yeah?! i feel like one!"

in hindsight, i kind of wish i would have "ROARED" or "GROWLED" or.. maybe, showed my teeth and said, "YES! i am a LION and YOU are a WILDEBEAST!" or something , you know, clever.

ah well.



sometimes i know things about myself. and when i said to myself, "self, we are going to love this new show called the flight of the conchords," i was telling myself some damn truths.

(ps. lying to oneself is utterly pointless. selves always know. about selves.)

it's the kind of show you watch and sometimes forget to laugh because you are so enamored by the pure genius of it all. and then you find yourself giggling uncontrollably. maybe not because of the genius, but because you think to yourself, holy shit, i could have come up with that. not because i am that funny in general, but i am THAT FUNNY to myself. mySELF thinks I am HILAR.

which, is definitely a debatable topic, but for our purposes here in this super public forum, let's just say i am my biggest fan and leave it at that. unless you want to debate my hilarity. well, then, by all means.....feel free.

SO! as i was saying...

"self..... howz about another glass o' chardonnay? "

"dude, you're so brilliant it hurts ourselves."


you don't often hear people describe minnesota vacations as a "whirlwind" of "excitment" but that's exactly what my trip back home was like. now i'm back, i'm exhausted and i want to tell stories but they are already fading. my swimsuit misses being in pools and i feel hungry for chicken wings.

anyway, i'm too lazy to write so...

josh loaned me his elvis glasses for a minute and he hooked aaron up with some hot shades and this is the truly awesome result:

jj flash, mona kee and biz in the hizzzzzzz.

we are so gonna kick yo' a**.


whiteboyz is funneh.

last night our friend bart performed a set as part of the whiteboy comedy lineup at room 5. bart was awesome, of course, but the show in general was effing hilarious!

perhaps, maybe, i hurt myself laughing once, or twice. or more.

randomly, we finally "officially" met our neighbor from across the street, you know, the one with the super cute pug. he even gave aaron a shout-out during his set. and, well, he was effing funny, which was a relief. it would have been awkward to see him walking the dog after that and have to be like, damn, he is not funny.

but he is! so yay. you can check him out here: kristian

so if you're in LA and you find yourself trolling for some good times on a thursday night, i highly recommend you check out the goods at room 5. tell them RUBY sent ya. they won't do anything nice or extravagant for you, but i like it when people drop my name for no good reason.


~vet exam update~

cosette tipped the scales at over 18 lbs.

chunk alert....

"who you callin CHUBBY, biatch?"

my dog = cooler than your dog

i didn't feed my dog this morning so that she would weigh less at her certification exam at the vet today.

cosette's getting certified to fly!

you thought i meant she was getting her pilot's license, didn't you? you're silly!!

actually, she's going to fly on a plane, in the main cabin, to minneapolis.

and, actually, they have a weight limit of 10 lbs. for pets flying in the main cabin. so they can, you know, fit under the seat.

cosette, however, tops out around 17-18 lbs. depending on the day she's having and how active her little bum is in the morning. i like it when she weighs 18, because then i just change the "8" to a "0" on her flying certification deal and no one is the wiser. however, i prefer her to weigh17 because then she's easier to carry and such. anyway, she's an old pro at this. i give her half a sedative about an hour before we fly, she passes the eff out and good times ensue from there on out.

awesome town.


f-o-o-d me

initially, i was really excited to watch hell's kitchen. and by "excited" i mean "morbidly curious." but as i was doing my gym-procrastionation dance, i stumbled across top chef reruns on bravo. i watched one. then two. and suddenly i was sucked into a world of deliciousness the likes of which i have never really known. the new season officially starts tomorrow night, and i haven't been this anxious with hunger, well, ever.

that didn't stop me from watching hell's kitchen when i finally returned from the gym at the ridiculous hour of nearly 10pm.

so the show was best described as a train wreck. we had aaron passing out with his eyes open, girls walking around in their underwear , roe getting squeezed out of roe-holes, disabled eddie getting made fun of (is he disabled? im still not sure) and aaron sweating in the Dover sole. it was gross, gross and more gross.

at the end of the day, a shocking nomination that DIDN'T include the one guy who might actually keel over dead any minute now transpired. and then my friend eddie was kicked to the curb.

goodbye eddie, we hardly knew ye.

ps. gordon ramsey is mean to little people. why does this NOT make me hate him?

next week: deadly incompetence, tears.


my gym is full of reality awesomeness.

spotted on 6/9. no dancing involved.


i've got it bad

signs that i might be addicted to

  1. aaron bribed me with wine last night to stay off of the site for 24 hours.
  2. so far it's been 18 hours and i'm really, really jonesin'
  3. i keep thinking of situations to put my dog in, and then i think of captions to go with it
  4. OR i think of a funny caption, and then i think of situations that might bring it to life
  5. right? it's a problem

in case you were wondering, my latest idea is to put cosette in the driver's seat of the car with a look of frustration on her face. the caption would read "WHY COME I KANT DRIVE DIS TING?"

awesome, right?

*checks in to Cheezburgeraholics Anonymous*


sharks, jumping; making babies; etc.

  • now that's what i call jumping the shark <<-- click
  • this made me almost spit out my chardonnay. my carpe diem chardonnay at that. -->> totes hilar
  • i made a baby boy and since that turned out so good i made a baby girl. aaron was like, what, is that a birth control site?
  • exactly.
  • where not to park -->> here
  • if you watch the real world/road rules inferno challenge show, and you watched the last episode, please click here for a recap that almost made me want to slap somebody (in a good way, ya'll!)
  • even if you don't watch the aforementioned show, click that linker up there anyoldway. obviously, you're bored if you're here.

intensive purposes

i was in a rather large meeting the other day at work, and the person presenting used the phrase "for all intensive purposes." i looked around to see if anyone else was as amused by the mishap as i was, but i didn't sense any reactions to the seemingly obvious misuse of that phrase. so that got me wondering, which led to some googling, which led me to the "eggcorn database"

never heard of it? me neither. in case you are wondering, here's what it is all about:

"This site is devoted to collecting the kind of unusual English spellings that have come to be called eggcorns. Eggcorn, the word, is a coinage that goes back to the excellent Language Log. The About page retraces the history of the term and offers more information on how this site came to be."

anyhoodle, i found the entry on what i was looking for, and here's a little snippet:

intents and purposes » intensive purposes

Chiefly in: for all intensive purposes


Spotted in the wild:

I know there is more to it then that, but for all intensive purposes it makes more sense to use what we already have as opposed to rewriting the whole damn thing, right? (
Dev Shed Java help forum)

Analyzed or reported by:
Mark Israel (
alt.usage.english FAQ)

Allan Hazlett at useandmisuse

I was one of the few who, upon learning (fairly late in life, I recall) that “for all intensive purposes” is a malapropism, was not embarassed that I had spent to many years not saying “for all intents and purposes,” but rather lamented the fact that “for all intensive purposes” was not an expression in English. It seemed so well to capture what I meant when I uttered it - when we consider only those purposes that are intensive, that’s the sense in which this is a good idea. It’s a good idea for all intensive purposes, but not for some of your other purposes that aren’t so intensive.

The makings of a true eggcorn: it just makes sense.

anyway, thought i'd share the wealth.

i would also like to leave you with this:

you're welcome!


quit your day job.

i guess steven of real world: las vegas fame is now a TRAINER at my gym. i thought he just, you know, worked out there. but i guess he also gives the gift of fitness.
and he has celebrity clients.
awesome town.

and/or - wtf?


i don't mean to be catty.

well, yes i do.

but hasn't jessica alba seen better days? i mean, justsayin.

(ps. i'm kind of a b*tch)


in order for things to rock, other things must suck.

sadly, i watched pirate master last night and was 95% disappointed. that doesn't mean i will stop watching, but it does mean im not really going to look forward to or enjoy it. totally a lame low rent version of survivor. however, it does make me want to be a pirate more than i already wanted to. pirates are cool.


on a positive note, i discovered traveler and i'm pretty much 100% emotionally invested after taking a ride through the pilot. i can't wait to see the "season premiere" episode which is waiting patiently on my tivo as we speak. awesome town.

other than that, hey, it's friday. smile!