stuff about where I live and play, and maybe some stuff about where I work and play.


i can haz?

when liana informed aaron and i that she had already purchased our tickets to lucha vavoom on june 26th (see previous entry), it only took me moments to log into our time & attendance system at work, request the 27th off as one of my 4 "summer fridays" and then pat myself on the back for being so clever.

so clever.

so thursday night was 10 of us at the mexican wrestling event (also featuring mostly naked "ladies") in honor of tal's birthday. it was mostly awesome and probably the most random thing i've ever seen. i wouldn't even know where to begin describing it, so hopefully the pics do the job.

aaron and i rolled in around midnight that evening and sat back and some vino and caught up on SWINGTOWN, which i still can't decide if i actually like it, or if i'm just watching it for the train wreck factor. we relaxed with the knowledge that neither of us had to wake up early the next day, and it was delicious.

friday brought a nice little stint at the gym followed by... what else... MASSAGES! after we turned ourselves into MUSH, we decided to hit up the usual FATTY HOUR at fat fish. yummm. i had a nice little wine buzz as we walked outside around 7ish and it was still blazingly sunny out. so then! we decided... let's go car shopping! hell, why not.

the thing is, actually, that time was of the essence. my car was at 73500 miles and it was just about due for over $4000 in services that frankly, DO NOT WANT TO BUY. but car needed. so instead! we decided to unload the car. but! they said i was upside down in my financing situation. MUTHA F*CKERS! so we walked out of the dealership, well, drove out, in my sad little broked down 2001 audi.

sad. but oh well. went home drank a glass of wine. passed out. game over.

saturday morning brought: 4 mile run followed by intense power sculpt class. sweat dripping, muscles flexing, face growling. followed by shower time and then? applied lip gloss, jumped into high heels and off we went to catch the 2:40p showing of WANTED. but first! afternoon glass of vino and some salad with chinese chicken at the arclight restaurant. sitting pimp-style in the big booth.

I CAN HAZ ANGELINA JOLIE'S SEX APPEAL? DO WANT! man. i loved it so much. i described it this way to anyone who would listen "IT'S LIKE FIGHT CLUB MEETS MATRIX! BUT! ONLY THE BEST PARTS OF FIGHT CLUB! BUT WITH NONE OF THE BAD PARTS OF MATRIX!" during the movie, one whole JUMBO GINORMOUS BOX of junior mints disappeared. later discovered? in our bellies.

after the HIGH OCTANE DELICIOUSNESS that was jolie & mcavoy (loves him), we decided: OKAY. let's go BACK TO AUDI AND MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.

and thusly and therefore, i rolled out of there in a DOLPHIN GREY 2005 audi a4 with XM radio, 6 disc changer, quatro, 1.8 something or other and BOSE sound system. now aaron and i have the following cars:

1. 2005 SILVER audi a4 2.0 quatro

2. 2005 DOLPHIN GRAY audi a4 1.8 quatro

additionally, i now owe AUDI my first born child and $1,000,000 in financing fees. oh well.

so then! to celebrate we headed out to 3rd Stop pub & restaurant and we ate and drank hurrah! we also made friends with the head chef and will come back more, because he was pretty awesome.

the night ended with me sleeping like a baby on the couch while aaron watched SUPER HIGH ME.

AND SO FINALLY. today arrived. with it came (1) 11-mile run AND THEN!

(8) chicken wings in my belly

(2) $4 bloody marys from the bloody mar bar at BIG WANGS

(1) taro-flavored yogurt from snowpod with chopped up mochis on top and

(1) bare burrtio from baja fresh.

so much for burning calories.

there was also target, bevmo and assorted other shenanigans in the mix. but i don't want to bore you... oh wait.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i've gone and bored myself.



what i did last night.

the crazy luchadors arriving outside the mayan

my personal favorite:
especially the LITTLE CHICKEN!

looks like a dream i had one time.
and by dream i mean NIGHTMARE?


these b*tches clearly know how to party


da boyz.


way too much fun for a thursday night...

god bless trannies.

let's just say I'm really happy I took today off.
and leave it there.
the end.
ps. i accidentally didn't take pictures of the strippers. maybe? next time.


hot fun in the summer.

it's 3 days into the summer and already we've had an intense heat wave that fried my innards, and it doesn't look like the heat is going to slow down anytime soon. check out what i have on tap in the next few months:


  • LUCHA VAVOOM: mexican wrestlers, burlesque dancers, comedians and grappling midgets ... just another night in hollywood, I suppose
  • S FACTOR: stripper/pole dancing lessons, gotz to improve my skillz so's I can pays the billz
  • PALM SPRINGS GETAWAY: complete with pool, jacuzzi and Vycasa tee tree oil spa amenities, whatever the hell those are. the desert. in august. really. it DOES NOT GET HOTTER.
  • HOLLYWOOD BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA/PICNIC: my 5th? annual appearance at the all you can eat and drink pre-party brought to us by VENICE magazine, and then subsequent enjoyment of tunes under the stars evening
  • 4th of JULY POOL PARTY AT A FORMER BOY BAND MEMBER'S HOUSE: I have no link for this one, I think it speaks for itself
  • BACHELORETTE PARTY IN MANHATTAN BEACH: fathers, lock your sons up. it's going to get ugly. i'm not sure what that means. but there are going to be some drunk 30-somethings running around the beach, I can assure you of that.

that's all i got for now. not as extensive as it felt in my brains. but still, pretty HOTT, no?


it's one million degrees today.

but it's not too hott to love this video. amazingly awesome.

visit the link to watch in "HIGH QUALITY"

you won't regret it.


i heart you long time, Kay Gee

dear kevin garnett,

CONGRAT-U-EFFING-LATIONS. HOLY CRAP. i'm so proud of you. i love you just like you're my own son. even though technically that's not possible, since i'm only, like two months older than you. but still, i love you like i birthed you myself.
but anyway! sad, i was, when you left the t-wolves. but happy, i was, when you found a home where you could fulfill your destiny. well done, kevin g, well done. last night, you made me cry like a little baby when you ROARED "ANYTHING IS POSSSSSSIBULLLLLLL!" and you made me fall in love with your awesomeness all over again.

in fact, i am now totally willing to forgive the little stabbing incident we had a few years back. my stomach is all healed ....and, indeed, my heart swells with pride.

way to go, no one deserves to be CERTIFIED more than you.



The Incredible ....

i have a "condition" when i get hot, excited, anxious, embrassed or mad i turn RED. you might call it "getting flush" or "blushing" or you can call it whatever you want. but it's NOT subtle and it's NOT pretty.

i've noticed myself getting the Red Condition when my feathers get a little ruffled lately, and it makes me a little nervous because WHAT IF I WERE TO GET REALLY MAD, not just ruffled-feathers-irriated BUT MAD-MAD! what would happen?!

would my muscles suddenly fill with adrenaline and bust through my shirt sleeves? would my head suddenly become extremely boxy and would my hair shrink into a bowl cut? would my eyes turn an unsavory shade of BLOOD-RED and shoot lasers? would i start saying things like RUBY MAD!

and would people *gasp* starting calling me THE INCREDIBLE RULK!?!?

probably not, but that would actually be pretty awesome.

hahaha. the incredible rulk.


i don't care what you say. i love panda.

on friday i rushed home from work so that we could slither in to food court LA before the 7pm end of happy hour. we ordered (8) $5 appetizers and (4) $5 drinks among the (3) of us & we devoured our food like animals in the wild.


and then! aaron and i RUSHED over to the arclight to grab (1) more glass of wine before our 8:10p showing of:


with reserved back row seats, naturally.

and OMG I LURVED IT SO MUCH AND LARFED SO HARD AND I WAS SURROUNDED BY CHILDRENS BUT I DIDN'T CARE BECAUSE pandas! monkeys! snow leopards! etc etc. it was so much fun. (enhanced by vino, but still)

(ps. picture capture reads: WHAT THE DORK?!)

and then! we RUSHED home, aaron dropped me off and i fell promptly asleep in the massage chair with little cosette curled up on my feets. he returned some 2 hours later with 29 $100 bills and he said " HONEY! I SOLD MY CAR!" and i was happy.

then we threw the money on the floor and rolled in it. no, no we didn't.

saturday morning came way too fast and at 9:30a I was selecting (2) 4-lb weights and i was securing the back left corner of the room because that, obvsly, is ::my spot:: and then i pumped irons in power sculpt class for an hour, give or take, and then i crunched abs and lifted butt muscles and then, hot & sweaty still, i made my way down to el treadmillio and i gave that sucker 42 minutes of feet poundings and when i had clocked precisely 5 miles, i jumped off and said, see you tomorrow, yo.

an hour later i was nekkid, face down and errol was assuming the position of RUBBING THE DICKENS OUT OF MY MUSCLES for 50 -odd glorious minutes.

shortly thereafter, aaron and i made a $5 dollah pitstop at SUBWAY and mowed down our honey oat chicken breast jalapeno-laden FOOOOOTLOOOONGS while we cruised out to keyes audi on van nuys. keyes keyes keyes, keyes on VAN NUYS! you know it? no? neverminds!

then: test drive test drive test drive negotiate negotiate negotiate negotiate negotiate negotiate negotiate negotiate test drive BORED, negotiate.

FINALLY! keys to the 2005 silver audi a4 quatro 2.0 For Him and i slunk back to my 2001 silver audi a4 quatro 1.8 For Her.

we have matching cars. OH EM GEE. we are dorks. except his is 4 years newer (SEXIER!!) than mine.

well. then.

then? spicy spicy foods at tuk tuk (like FACE ON FIRE SPICY) and of course, some sweet vino, and then off to century city to see the late showing of "the strangers" wherein, at one point, my shrill scream escaped my mouth and echoed through the theater. scary. but also? sadly, NOT the best movie ever.


and then? sweet sweet post-car buying sleep.

sunday was an 11-mile jaunt(?) on the treadmill! then it was a BLISSSSFUL 90-minute massage care of the magical dodi that turned me into a puddle of mushhhhhh. massage face! i has it!

some salad for lunch, some laundry folded & cleaned, some house de-cluttered... and off we went to j & k's to watch the Celtics convincingly beat the Lake Show. KG is my homeboy. you know this.

so that was that.. a rat a tat tat.

i just completed 60 minutes of centering and soothing yoga moves, and, as i was rushing to make it to class on time (i RUSH everywhere these days, goshhhh) (and i was late! damn.) some gnarly old hippie dude called me a YOGA HOTTIE and to that i say GOOD DAY SIR! good day.


miu miu takes a hike


BEFORE: waiting with breathless anticipation!!!

DURING: doing his poppa proud!


the end.


a singsong of meh-y meh.

so anyway. WORK IS KICKING MY ASS. so that's a why i am AWOL so much these dayz. i'm trying to read other blogs, i'm trying to note on them i try i try but slowly inside i DIE from too much time spend on clicky clicking keys and eyes are bloodshot have to take eyedrops so much aaron says i'm addicted to eyedrops but YOU WOULD BE TOO if you stared 11 hours per one day at a computer screen of jumbly white space and black letters YOU WOULD BE TOO if your job required you to bask in the glow of flourescent lighting oh YES i know it's the most efficient and enviro-friendly flouro lighting available but momma don't like. momma wants the soft warm glow of UV rays in her face whilst lying on a sandy beach with frosty beverage at her glamourously tanned and manicured fingertips. but no.

not at this moment. not now. for now is the time to WORK ASSIO OFFIOUS so that in less than one years time, according to higher up Powers That Be! i will be getting the BIG PROMO and ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS in cash money. but i just have to PROVE MYSELF that i can handle it and so therefore, i die in the interim.

meanwhiles, my dry erase board reads "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" and then today tenna bribed me into doing some work items for her with a god damn bag of peanut m&ms. and i ate them ALL. and i did the work items and then i made myself do 10 push-ups and then 10 more push-ups because WHY NOT. why the hell not. people at work think i have The Crazy and then i go and do some yoga moves right in the middle of the hall by the lobby to prove to them that i have a calming sensation of energies. AND ALSO? The Crazy, I Has IT!

in other news, i went to the GROUNDLINGS tonight and watched my friend's adapted version of TEEN WITCH and it was so god damn effing hilarious that i nearly burst my spleen. OH! and the ORIGINAL WITCH was there! holy f*cknuts. ain't that a kick in the pants!?!!

now i am finishing up some worky work items with a low ball glass of the vino at my unpolished, unmanicured fingertips and, is OK. is OK. i know that saturday brings a 60-minute massage and sunday brings a 90-minute one and that, my friends, is why i do the things i do.

oh! pee essss. camus went on his first hike on sunday! aww. the dickens.


SATC makes me vacillate.

Dear Head Lady of the Lady Club.

i kind of feel like, i have to give up my membership in the Lady Club because I didn't go see the damn sex & the city movie this weekend.

honestly? i was torn. there was a giant group of ladies and gays from work going on friday at 4pm (leaving work early! the madness!) then tenna generously offered to allow me to accompany her & her sister at the 9:50AM showing on saturday morning (!!!?!??!?!??!) with a lovely lunch following. both invitations were SUPREMELY ENTICING. but? for some reason? i couldn't do it. I couldn't participate in the Opening Weekend of the Biggest Chick Flick EVER.

and also? i'm not sure what my big objection was.

was it....

... because i think SJP looks like a foot?

... because i'm just not a Real Lady?

....because i now have an aversion to cosmos (unless they have lychee in them, naturally)?

...because, honestly? i'm just not into cougars???

i don't really KNOW. because the WEIRDEST thing about NOT GOING is that it triggered a severe case of the FOBLOs* and i oft comtemplated just GIVING IN AND GOING ALREADY, because, you know, why not ... anyway.

so instead... i busied myself with a CELTICS VICTORY (KG BABY! AWWWW YEAHHHHH) and a KIMBO SLICE FIGHT (IN YO' FACE MUTHA F*CKERS!) and other such testosterone-filled activites (10-mile run, intense hike, bear wrestling, etc.)

and now? i kind of feel mini-pangs of regrets in my heart-piece.

but then again? i'm kind of glad i spent my $14 that would have contributed to the Lady Club and instead? spent it on an OBEY hoodie at the OBEY WAREHOUSE SALE on saturday afternoon.

yeah, that's my hoodie. i got it for $30 and it retails for $66. 'sup, bitches? (ps that isn't me in the pic, case you dinninnint reco-niz.)

for reals, though? next weekend is going to be this: martini, massage, pedicure, manicure, massage, yoga, martini, chardonnay and ... i will wear nothing but pink. because as much as i might have pissed off the Lady Gods, i definitely still want to be in the Lady Club.
So please, Dear Lady of the Highest Power, just don't make me watch SATC to make it so.

Heels & Martinis Fo-evah,


*FOBLO = fear of being left out.