stuff about where I live and play, and maybe some stuff about where I work and play.


murder down below.

we live on the top floor of a duplex which is mostly? awesome. it means that we don’t have to deal with people living ABOVE us. more often than not, we have a peaceful coexistence with the two todds and a jake who live below us, despite their inclination to be Frat Boy Party Dudes. don’t get me wrong, I totally adore frat boy party dudes.

um, except for when they make me wonder if THEY ARE MURDERING PEOPLE IN THE BEDROOM BELOW ME.

so here’s the situation. I had a very lovely ME day yesterday wherein all I did was hang out with myself, except for when I had my massage therapist, um, MASSAGE THE HELL OUT OF ME. so except for that, my human interaction yesterday was limited to:

  1. the person who checks me in at the gym and some inconsequential people who happened to be at the gym at the same time as me
  2. a fleeting moment when eddie and I discussed him NOT ordering The Fight here, but instead “going out” to watch it (yessss! chick flicks and wine ME!)
  3. a discussion with liana via text wherein I declined an invitation to hang out with the crew so I could, um, “not shower” and “turn in early”
  4. a couple phone calls with aaron wherein I was all “hey! I did nothing today! mostly! and mostly nothing!”

so that was my day, in a nutshell.

I watched “catch and release” and weirdly, loved it, and cosette and I had some wine (me moreso than her) and I lit a bunch of candles and I ordered expensive food and made a nice indentation on the couch. around 11pm I said to cosette MAN AM I EVER BUSHED! let’s call it a night. and she snorted in concurrence. so 11pm-ish I was snuggled into bed and I had all sorts of weird ideas of “getting up super early” and being “super productive.”

and I lived happily ever after.

no. notsomuch.

anyway. eddie rolls in around1-ish and made enough of a ruckus to stir me from my slumber. not a huge ruckus, mindyou, but enough. and since aaron isn’t here, well, I guess I’m my own watchdog so I was all… hey! who’s in the house! and then I was all, oh! it’s my roommate.

I’m a detective in my spare time.

anyway, not more than 30 minutes later, there was another ruckus down below. I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. so there was SCREAMING and WALL POUNDING and WEIRD RUNNING NOISES. so I propped myself up on my elbows and was like, um, WHAT THE MUTHER EFF is going on, um, to myself.

and I continued to listen to SCREAMING and more WALL POUNDING and then some SHRILL LAUGHTER. and then? I realized that the frat boy party dudes must have just returned from the bars. but it took me a full FIVE minutes to really understand that someone wasn’t getting murdered. because WHO SCREAMS AND WALL POUNDS AND RUNS BACK AND FORTH at 2 in the morning?

whatever. I guess it was all fine and good, but it really sounded like they were breaking down the house down there. turns out? just drunk and rowdy. death count: zero.

I feel old. other news, i saw DEXTER at the gym on thursday evening. its like, he's stalking me. except hey! mr. dexter! i didn't kill anyone (yet)! so leave me alone and stop trying to race me on the treadmill!!! kthxbai.


T said...

Dude. You almost got to see me running down the hallway to ensure you were ok. Seriously. Scared me.

mnbird said...

*laughing out loud*

I have to say. That was a good read. I am glad that the death count is zero.