welp, i'm back in lalaland after a blissfully grounding and recharging stint in the frrrrrozzzzen tundra. i know it was an epic fail on the blog a day efforts, but OH WELL. what can you do.
dear minneapolis friends: HOW DO YOU DO IT ? i cannot survive so many chapped lips and staticky hairs. omg. i was a HOT MESS in minneapolis, minnesota.
also: fat again. but the reason is this: I HAD TO KEEP WARM, see? but i will drop this fat in no time, because aaron will be back home in just 19 days. NINETEEN DAYS!? :stabs fork in eye: how will i survive that? chapped lips, dry skins, staticky hairs = nothing compared to being without my rock for nearly three weeks.
maybe i will be inspired to go to the gym yet today (it's only 6:25p for chrissakes) and start to stave off the layer of blubs that has accumulated above my waistband. maybe? maybe not. a few short minutes ago i was in snoozeville on the couch, strategically spooning cosette who had her cold little dog nose buried in my thunder thigh and i woke up, confused and startled as i realized if i slept NOW, sleeping later would probably be a situation. in the process, i confused and startled my dog and mass hysteria set in rather quickly. but there is also this: i have a sparkly clean house because my delicious cleaning elves came while i was gone but i also have a cold, empty fridge with nothing to fill my belly but (maybe) moldy string cheese and past due -date- lettuce.
BUT. i have lots of brain vomits to spill on these pages and they aren't going to spill themselves so how about this negotiation with myself:
dear self: write your stupid brain vomits and then go to the gym and then you can have a treat. love, yourself.
okay: here we go.
maybe we can start today, where i had to wake my frozen bones up at 5a in the crack of dawn morning so that i could be at the minneapolis/st paul airport by 6a so i could catch my 7a flight! which all went off without a hitch except i cried a little when i hugged aaron's skeleton body when he dropped me off because i already missed him and i wasn't even gone yet. then! my personal tv thing didn't work on my delta flight but my internet was free (thank you, google chrome) so i was happily skipping around the internets wondering when the hell the beverage service was going to start when they suddenly announced over the loud speaker that if anyone on the flight was a doctor, they should come to the back of the plane (never good).
and so i was like, well, whatever, back to the internets. then, still no beverage service and my tv still wasn't working and then! they said two people had fainted and there was a weird (unidentified) odor in the back and some flight attendants were feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded... so... we were going to stop over in denver right quick and investigate.
so, of course, immediately i decided that I felt dizzy and light-headed (not really, but kind of) and then started getting a bit nervous, and then everyone started getting nervously chatty around me and we were all like haha this is funnyweirdscary but if we make fun of it all, then it SHOULD be ok?! right!?! so i sent off a nice little note to some of my immediate family members to say "HAHA FUNNY STORY , weird shit on our plane, if i die, love you guys long time! KTHXBAI!" and something about: ps thank goodness for inflight internet! right!? I mean...
well.... needless to say, everything ended up working out except a bunch of people missed their flights to japan or somesuch and were a bit sad faced about it, but clappped when we finally landed in LA after a three hour unplanned layover in denver.
there's more! stories! but i have to go to the gym now because i just sipped some sprite and now i feel like i am full of bubbles and the only cure is this:
1. 3 miles on the treadmill to burn off the blubb
2. 15 minutes in the steam room to introduce MOISTURE back into my lips, hair and skin
3. grocery shopping so that i don't have to eat a mixture of moldy cheese and other strange items growing in my (mostly) clean fridge
:sigh: do i really have to go back to work tomorrow? thank jeeeeesus for PAJAMA MONDAY. hallelujah. amen.