on paper, looks good.

** Survivor Recap**






the thing i most love about survivor is that just when you think you kinda have it all figured out and you think it’s going to get semi-predictable, they up and change the whole crazy game on you. and last night was that moment.

the “reward challenge” turns out, is “drop your buffs” time with ed & earl getting the tribe-selector-honors. ed’s tribe ends up being 100% beef and consists of all you *think* you ever wanted in a tribe: ed, alex, rocky, dreamz and mookie. oh. and anthony. i think rocky says it best when he observes that “on paper, we’re like a superpower. i ain’t gonna lie, we look pretty good.” or something to that effect. and! they’re modest too.

ok so, that leaves earl, boo, stacy, cassandra, michelle and yau man on the other tribe. guess who didn’t get picked? yep that’s right. everyone’s favorite mullet-face-‘vivor-tard, LISI. she’s so dumb, she’s almost brilliant. she essentially thinks because she didn’t get picked, she is going home, and reveals that she would be cool with that.. but then jeff informs her she’s going to exile and will still be playing the game (dumbass) and she’s all awwww shit. anyway, jeff is like dude, go to exile and get your stupid head on straight. i love it when probst unleashes the sass.

now, it’s tribe buff selection time. ed selects orange, so the sausage fest is the new ravu. d’oh. moto island is still phat island, which then means that yau man, michelle and earl are now going to get a taste of the goooood life while alex, ed & deamz are now going to be slumming on ghetto island. hee. so juicy i can hardly stand it.

back at ravu, life is certainly, um, weird. anthony’s deep-seeded aversion to removing his shirt around Men is revealed, and you can’t help but feel super sorry for him as he waxes nostalgic about his Life as a Nerd. meanwhile, all the Men go off to grunt, hunt and fish leaving anthony to tend to the whining, cooking and cleaning. then the editing is so weird and eerie that i feel like it’s going to turn into a Lord of the Flies situation... but no, it’s just some scheming and suddenly, with the help of the Most Manliest Men (Ed & Alex) FISH ARE CAUGHT and FOOD IS SERVED. rocky’s face starts looking EXACTLY like one of the fish they caught and i start to get confused as to whether rocky is talking or a fish. either way, it’s a blowhard.

so..... ... there is a huge build-up about how awesome ravu is now and how they are sooo going to kick major ass which can only lead to one result: they lose the immunity challenge. in a very anti-climactic tribal council, anthony gets the boot, but at least they had us thinking for one split second that it might be rocky. anyway, i don’t think anyone but anthony cares about anthony leaving, but the moral of the story is: just because you’re a man it does not mean you are automatically awesome. isn’t that the moral? i don’t know. i remember laughing a LOT during this episode but i was also pretty high on thai curry. so there you go.