serial killers are all the rage

so. today i watched a particularly disturbing episode of law & order criminal intent, then the season premiere of dexter and then we watched disturbia immediately afterwards.

i :might: have trouble sleeping tonight.

creeepy.

i run in my sleep.

aaaaand i did my 16-mile run this weekend. aaaaand i didn't totally suck at it, which was a nice accomplishment. so now! i bask a little in the glory of accomplishment, and then! i prepare to run 18 this saturday.


MARATHON TRAINING IS SO MUCH FUN!

total running miles this week: 35
total "other" miles: 9.5
total miles total: 44.5

hot damn.


333.4 total training run miles down, 150.2 to go.

'nuff said.

just what i needed. more teevee.

it's always a tricky situation when you are watching a new tv show that someone you happen to be related to is in. same with plays, movies, etc. -- of which i've seen a lot of, lately.

however, in the case of private practice, i loved the show so much that i was actually quite quite excited to watch the premiere with my lovely sister-in-law. the show was better than i could have expected, i truly loved it.

[it should be noted that i've never been a grey's anatomy fan, so i had nothing to compare this to...]

afterwards, we stuck around for the premiere of dirty, sexy money, and HELLOOOO AWESOME TOWN, this show was the squirrel's nuts. SO good! who knew? i don't know, maybe ABC.

so to summarize, i do believe wednesday night ABC TV has won a space on my must-see list. giddy-up.

oh, and ps. private practice KILLED in the ratings, especially among the fairer sex. >> 'Practice,' 'Bionic' Start Strong; ABC wins Wednesday as new series have solid debuts


take that, suckers.

party like a r*ckst*r

i was going to write something here about how i was out partying at hotel roosevelt last night until 1a but then woke up at 6a and ran 9 miles in 80 minutes and 10 seconds. but i didn't want to brag. so i won't.

gu! such a funny word.

the last time i attempted to do a 16-mile training run, i failed miserably. the stupid IT band pain started up around mile 11 and i was only woman enough to power through to 14.4 miles before i threw my hands in the air and gave up. it was quite devastating, actually, and i am still a little haunted by it.

since then, ive successfully completed a 12-mile run (alone, i might add, as aaron was doing his play) and a 14-mile run. so i'm feeling apprehensive, but fairly excited, about my upcoming 16-miler this friday.


in addition to a delirious sense of certainty, i also have the following items accompanying my on my big run:

• (1) husband of hearty fortitude
• (1) BRAND NEW VIDEO iPOD NANO in silver, natch
• (1) hot new playlists on above-mentioned nano (courtesy of husband)
• (1) sexy knee strap to alleviate IT band inflamation
• (3) different types of energy items (not all will be consumed at once)

• (1) bottle of accelerade
• (1) new pair of asics (2000 series)
• (8) capsules of Vitamin I (ibruprofen, that is)
• (1) renewed sense of confidence

so i guess, if nothing else, i am good at buying stuff to make myself feel better about myself.

a little taxi can go a long way.

dear kiefer, lindsay, paris & nicole:

here you go. please print out and put in your wallet for the next time you go out partying.

some reasons why taxis are good for drunks:

• cheaper than DUI & jail fines
• usually taxi drivers are extra hilarious when you are 2x the legal alcohol limit
• mug shots are so last summer

if you're not down with, like, gross taxis, check out home james. this way, you AND your car can make it home alive and without incident. it's totally brilliant. even for people with monkey brains.

you're totally welcome.


love,
rubes

TVs are just an extension of your, um, personality

while chilling in the outdoor loveliness of stone rose lounge last night, a new acquantince was discussing the unique set-up he and his housemates had for viewing football. they have two TVs, lined up next to each other. one TV gets the "main game" and the other is guests' choice. at one point he said something to the effect of, "we have 110 inches of plasma TV for your viewing pleasure."

and i was like, awww yeah. gotta love it.

dexter me.

as if i wasn't already SUPER excited for the season premiere of dexter (9/30, 9pm, showtime), when i went to the gym yesterday i was treated to a double dose of the dexter cast (michael c hall & jennifer carpenter).

NICE!

can't wait for this show to start!

there's something on your lip...

i don't know. saturday night started off on a weird note, what with all the CRAZY rain and whatnot, so i guess i should have been prepared for anything. but i have to tell you, there are some things you just cannot prepare yourself for...

L, T & I arrived at the village idiot for dinner around 7:45p, and put our reservation in for what we thought was going to be 8 people. slowly but surely as more and more people began to arrive, we realized that the birthday boy hadn't so much done a head count and we were actually looking to sit, um, 14 people. whoops. it all worked out fine, but it was a little frantic there for a moment and everyone was looking at us pulling together half the dining room tables and i could sense that we were "those" people. obnoxious, that is. of course the instant the birthday boy finally arrived (last, of course) there was a flurry of picture taking and singing, which added to our overall awesome factor. i mean, could we BE any more obnox?


despite the awkward start, everything went great, the food and drinks were AWESOME. how come this is the first time i've ever been there? this place rocks. ROCKS MY FACE OFF.

the next leg of lorenzo's birthday tour was the bar. which i've also never been to, but apparently i'm the only person in los angeles who hasn't. and ps, it was super awesome if you overlook the whole mustache party thing that was going on.

right.. yes, so the point of my "story."

we walked in and situated ourselves at the front of the room to order some much-needed red bull vodkas. we ran into a few random people who were there for another party and they seemed embarrassed to reveal that they knew the proprieters of the "mustache party."



we all looked at each other with puzzled looks and said, "mustache party????" and she said, yeah, you know all those people in the back with 'staches on? if you haven't seen them yet, OH YOU WILL. don't worry.



and immediately i was worried. nothing creeps me out more than 'staches. when we finally made our way to the back of the bar, we were overwhelmed by an assortment of people all rocking 'staches. girls, guys everyone was fair game.

like whoa, it was the weirdest thing i've ever seen. apparently, according to some of my newly 'stach-ed friends, the mustache (or MOUstache, if you will) is experiencing somewhat of a resurrgence in certain parts. one new friend who was visiting from NY informs me that yes, in fact, 'staches are popping up all over in NYC.

who knew.

anyway, what i do know is that i hope this trend dies a fast and fiery death.

mustaches are for the creepy.

whatever, i'm just doing this for you.

Obviously, I didn’t watch EVERY SINGLE season premiere that aired this week. I’m an extremely busy and cultured lady and I don’t have time to sit around and watch TV all the damn day long.

I mean, seriously.

However, somehow, I did manage to watch 7 season premieres and two season finales... so you can do the math about how busy my social calendar was this week.

Shut up.


OK, so here’s my VERY topline summary/report on what I saw.

Finales

Big Brother 8: evel dick blahblahblahh eh. B-
Last Comic Standing. Double eh. C+

Premieres

Prison Break.
SUPER confused, which translates to SUPER intrigued, which translates to GOOD. I give it a B+. This grade will drop considerably if Bellick keeps running around sans pants. Um, vomit.

K-Ville.
I can’t say I was able to watch more than 3.3 minutes of this. The word “boring” comes to mind. Sorry dudes. C-

Beauty & The Geek.
It’s been awhile since I almost hurt myself laughing. The first half of the premiere was whatever, lame. But the second half was mostly: brilliance in motion. So great, this show. It will fill the giant void in my tiny heart that Pick-up Artist will leave. And please believe this will be a huge, gaping hole. However, the "surprise gender" twist? LAME in your face.

Gossip Girl.
Yeah, so. I felt naughty watching it, which means it will be relegated to being my guilty pleasure that I tivo in the bedroom only so that I can watch while I “clean my room” on Saturdays after my long training runs. Roughly, in the same category as The Hills, but surprisingly better and the music is ta die fer. A-

American’s Next Top Model.
The first episode is always exposition and blahblahblah screaming over tyra boring more tyra too much exposition blah. So it’s nor really fair to truly grade this, but I will be watching, anyway, because I’m a ANTM whore, despite the fact that I actually loathe tyra’s stupid self-righteous face. B

Kid Nation.
Just when I thought I had enough reasons to keep babies out of my life, here comes another reason. KIDS! Could they BE any more obtuse? Could they BE any more annoying? OK, granted, some are totally adorable and I want to squish their faces off. But let’s be honest. Those are the exception to the rule. I will be definitely be tuning in next week to find out if they kill a chicken or not, because, truly, I am THAT morbid. But I can’t imagine this one will leave a lasting impression on my HIGHLY cultured and refined taste menu. B-

Survivor.
MAYBE I was bitter when it started because I was like OMG why is there ANOTHER mullet-head and no ME*? I could have done this show SO MUCH BETTER than effing CHICKEN or stupid whatever-her-face is. But once I got over myself (I know, right? About time!) I fell in like with: james and aaron and, as always, I do believe I am in it for the long haul. Loves this show. Can’t help mahself. A


Dear Brain Cells,

Come back to me. I’m truly and deeply sorry for drowning you with sweet alcohols and too much soul-draining teevee.

Love you long time,
Rubes



*if you are a new reader, please review this post to read about my survivor audition experience. obvsly, i didn't make it....

brand new band.

so in case you weren't already super jealous of my marathon training program that is sucking the golden life out of me, i have another reason to hate.

the police are playing an exclusive concert for people of the marathon at madison square garden.

um.

the police? is that supposed to be some sort of reward? couldn't they have gotten someone from, oh, i don't know... this century?

hello! the 80s called. they want their band back.

aging well.

is it possible that this song gets better with each listen? DUDE, i LOVE this song.

VATOR INVADER

what's the deal with people who walk into an elevator before the people who are exiting get a chance to, um, exit? do you know this weird social abmormality? how daft do you have to be to ENTER while people are clearly trying to EXIT? i'm really, honestly, JUST SAYIN.

i like to call them 'vator invaders. because it rhymes. and i'm 8 years old.

of cougars and men.

last week our post-work happy hour discussion meandered its way towards the topic of "cougars" and the relevance of such a topic in our current lives. fresh out of college, jessica pondered whether or not the topic had become suddenly more topical than usual or if it was just her. i agreed that yes, the topic of cougars had been emerging more and more lately.

the urban dictionary seems to validate our theory as indicated in this here [most popular]definition:

an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

so then we started talking about the cougars in our lives and then pondered at what age one becomes a cougar. we all agreed that most likley, cougars start to form in the late 30s, or early 40s. the age break is quite subjective, it turns out, but we all agreed 35 was probably at the younger end. we assured a paranoid young natalie that she was in no way in dangerous cougar territory at the tender age of 25. ah, sweet natalie.

anyway! i felt good that none of my friends would be considered cougars, although most of them are dating/in serious relationships anyway... but it is something to be wary of in the next few years as they approach the *gulp* mid-30s.

[incidentally, my friend L is currently dating a man approximately 7 years younger than her, but she is a fresh young 30 yet... hmmmm]

my point? was.. oh! i was perusing OK on the treadmill this morning and i noticed an article on the TOP 10 COUGARS (timely topic indeed). the list included some obvious cougars; pamela anderson, dina lohan, ellen barkin...but then it also included cameron diaz (35) and drew barrymore (32). really?

what do you guys think? should drew barrymore be considered a COUGAR?? she seems so young to me. and she's older than me by a whole year! am i in AGE DENIAL here?

meanwhile, to learn more about this HOTT topic, check out urban cougar and a field guide to hollywoods hottest cougars and then! make sure you pick this up:

happy hunting/being hunted!

ME-OW!

theory of relativity.

while watching the hills tonight, i experienced some weird sensations when i watched lauren hanging out with jason. and by "weird" i mean "not irriating." in fact, i rather enjoyed their banter and chemistry for a change.

so then i wondered, is jason more appealing now because he is "trying to be a better person?" OR is he just more tolerable because spencer is SUCH A F*CKING LOSER, that even giant tools come off smelling like roses when in his presence?

hmmm.

put that in your pipe and smoke it.

serendipity.

tonight was the closing night performance of aaron's latest theatrical endeavor, "three days of rain." now that i've seen the play 5 times, yes, 5, i feel like i can almost recite the whole thing myself. but yet, you know what? there's no way in hell i could memorize ten minutes of dialogue, much less TWO AND HALF HOURS. i mean, like whoa.

to summarize: aaron was amazing, the play was awesome, it was the best thing i've ever seen him do and i was beaming with pride after every performance. i loved it when people would come up to me afterwards and say, "aaron was so GOOD. you must be so proud." as if i had something to do with it. and since i most certainly did not have anything to do with it, i would respond with "yes, i'm so proud. you know... i taught him everything he knows... " and everyone would laugh heartily and pat me on the back knowingly. yes, yes. ruby is hilarious.

now i'm sitting here watching the pre-emmy red carpet show, and tony shaloub of MONK is chatting away about how this is his 5th nomination for the show and how it never gets old to be there. and he's so cool. and you know what? in this moment? it feels like serendipity, baby.

why i love marathon training. no, seriously.

so i'm starting to think that all the insanity of training for this marathon is finally making sense. ponder the evidence, if you will.



1. i "get" to eat all the damn time. granted, i'm gaining weight in weird places and my jeans are getting too small in the quads (as a bonus they are LOOKING "really big," according to my chiro. um f*ck you very much, dr.)



2. i've been getting more massages than a squirrel has nuts, which i have to tell you, DOES NOT SUCK. does not suck at all. in fact! today i had probably the most amazing massage of my entire life. to be fair, there have been times when i've had THE BEST TACO BELL TACO OF MY ENTIRE LIFE or BEST CAN OF UNIDENTIFIABLE CANNED FOOD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE, but let's be honest, i was probably pretty drunk at those times. my point being, this may or may not have been the best massage of my entire life, but when juxtapose the fact that i was up at 6a to run 14 miles today, the relative AWESOMENESS probably triples. nay, quadruples. (get it? QUAD....right.)



3. every week, i do more by 9a than most people do all day. [insert weird creepy glee here]



4. i'm starting to become "familiar" with venice & santa monica beach bums, runners, cyclists and SAVE THE [WHATEVER] campaigners. i get to be a psuedo beach person without losing my, well, soul. ....SCORE.



5. unlike my quads, which may or may not be huge and may or may not fit in my jeans, my calves are looking pretty badass. i rather enjoy watching myself flex and unflex them in the mirror at the gym. did i just admit that? well, it's true. additionally, new side-of-the-thigh muscles are emerging and if i stand at the right angle in the right light, you might mistake me for someone pretty awesome, such as bruce jenner. actually, i hope you don't mistake me for bruce jenner, maybe someone a little less, um, manly and QUADly.

good news/bad news

the good news is: i am no longer emotionally invested in the outcome of big brother 8.


the bad news is: i'm still watching.




gah.

so here's the thing.

most of you know that aaron is an actor. he's pretty much been a working actor for the past 8 years or so. but up until precisely one week ago, i wasn't able to actually tell anyone where to watch for him on TV. but that's all about to change seeing as he is finishing up filming a guest role on "monk" this week and will most likely be lining up a few more hot numbers as we speak.

so anyway, this got tenna thinking. we were working through a highly important work project wherein i was learning her how to create a target audience that would watch spoof movies, as we do here at my super important job. suddenly she wonders aloud, "OMG, what if all of a sudden you are the wife of a famous actor!?!? what will you do?" and, i pondered this question quietly as if it were the FIRST TIME I EVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING! indeed, when aaron becomes rich and famous for things other than owning a randy moss rookie card, what the christ will i do with myself.

what. what. what.

i've given it a whole bunch of minutes, nay, HOURS, of thought and this is what i've decided:

most likely, i will become a lady who lunches. and happy hours. and then dinners. i will flit about from the gym to fancy restaurants to yoga to shopping and then back to the gym when i dont fit in the size -2 clothes and then back to shopping and then back to fancy restaurants and then i will pass out in a pool of wine.

sounds awesome right?

i will also become vapid, shallow and pretty-to-look-at-but-not-much-for-conversation. i will spend all aaron's money on "enhancing" myself and buying lavish clothing so i can look good in the background of his red carpet photos. of which everyone will wonder, who is that hot piece of arm candy with aaron????? and then they will die of jealousy.



OR! maybe i will continue working at my super important job and continue my mission of "doing stuff" and "acting a fool." so basically...changing nothing.

at any rate.

thanks for making me ponder, ms. tenna. (and also thanks to clink for additional inspiration)

i like.

footballs on my brains.

a lot of people have asked me how i feel about randy moss tearing sh*t up over at new england. and by "a lot" of people, i think i mean, um, "two." at any rate, it makes me feel like a proud mama to see mah boy finally proving the mutha effing critcs wrong. because he is, was and always will be: 100% awesome town.

additionally, aaron has his rookie card. therefore, the better he does, the more that baby is worth and, eventually, he plans to retire off of the earnings the aforementioned card will garner him when my moss lands in the hall of fame.

ya hearrrrd?

in other football news, the vikings beat the sad, vick-less falcons, quite convincingly in their season opener. so, let's all breathe a huge purple sigh of relief. and consider this: the absolute worst they can do this year is 1-15. not bad, not bad.



i am not participating in any pools or fantasy leagues this year for the first time in, oh, 10 years. which makes me much less interested in teams without randy moss-es and teams that don't wear purple. but aaron IS participating in two different pools (for i think, the FIRST TIME EVER) for both pro and college ball, so i guess i am going to be "getting interested" in teams that matter nothing to me whether i like it or not.

i'm just happy that we discovered that BIG WANGS has a build-your-own bloody mary bar (for $4!!!!!) on saturdays AND sundays in addition to having 13 thousand screens to watch football on. oh, and they serve BIG MUTHA EFFING WANGS, didja hear?

so i'm sayin', things COULD be worse, is all.

remembering.

~~caveat: a rare somber-ish entry~~

i woke up on 9.11.01 to the sound of the phone ringing, it was dear, sweet heather phoning to alert us that we "were under attack." i will never forget it.

i remember looking at the official ticket for my first ever (nevermind that i was 25 at the time) madonna concert and thinking, could a madonna concert truly ever be the same?

of course, that evening's concert was cancelled, but rescheduled for that saturday. and clearly, i was afraid to go, because if you were a terrorist and you were still planning an attack, wouldn't that be the FIRST place in LA you'd want to target? i mean, a madonna concert at the staples center? it was like a veritable gold mine of lascivious americans!

but let me tell you now, in hindsight: i've never been so excited to be with my fellow americans, singing "like a virgin." because, if you think about it, we were. it was everso apropros.

it was my first day officially being the "boss" of four of my co-workers. one by one, they called me to check in to see if they needed to come in to work that day. i remember being confused about being the boss, but i knew under no uncertain terms, it was a day for them to stay home. it was my first big decision as a manager.

i remember driving aaron to the doctor so he could be treated for the brown recluse spider bite(s) on his chest. i barely slept through the night because i was (after carefully scouring the internet searching brown recluse spider bite symptoms and worst case scenarios) most certain he was going to either be a) paralyzed or b) comatose. it seemed worth the risk to venture out and get some sort of anitbiotics to treat the ailment. (ps. he lived, but it was intensely scary, at any rate)

finally, what i remember the most clearly, was seeing a bunch of personages on TV, standing on the stairs of some building, most likely the white house or somesuch, singing "god bless the USA."

and i remember most vividly, in that moment, feeling more (bittersweetly) proud to be an american than i ever had in my entire life.

i never WANT to FORGET that feeling. EVER.

don't bogart that joint.

i like flat buns too.

pretty sure this carl's jr. ad is regional, which means a lot of you have not had the opportunity to see this baby live and larger than life on your televisions. for this, i am truly sorry. because it is quite simply, a masterpiece.



perhaps! i exaggerate when i say masterpiece. however, i can vouch for it's EFFECTIVENESS because late last night, i heard my lovely husband singing the jingle like there was nothing at all weird about it.

i said, "hey! do you LIKE that commercial??" and he replied, "YES! it's hilarious. FLAT BUNS!" and then i gushed, "oh i'm SO glad you like it! because i love it and i didn't want to say because i didn't want to seem like, you know, lame. but since you like it then that means i can say i like it and, well ...." then we both started singing FLAT BUNS, i like flat buns.... and we lived happily ever after.

or something like that.


so there you have it. way to go carl's jr.!!

if the video doesn't work, CLICK ME FOR FLAT BUNS AWESOMEONESS!!!

words from the wise.

To: ruby
From: mp
Date: 09/06/2007 10:55PM
Subject: RE: aaron's play [UPDATE]

Well that's some seriously good shityo. Then it's def gotta be next wknd for me. Let's touch base later next week so we can hopefully enjoy a beverage or so afterward, yeah? Hope all's well, really lookin fwd to seeing you guys!



From: ruby
To: mp
Subject: RE: aaron's play [UPDATE]
Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2007 23:07:01 -0700

mp, if we do not have some beverages in the near future it will be a DAMN tragedy.

maybe! i am working/drinking wine at the same time. it's possible i have a buzz whilst configuring a presentation i needs to present tomorrow.

mostly, wise people have said thusly: creativity requires chardonnay on the brain.

i believe, tis true.


To: ruby
From: mp
Date: 09/06/2007 11:11PM
Subject: RE: aaron's play [UPDATE]


Baaahdddy, let me tell you this, spoken by a wise Bostone-eeeonian... A couple two treee drinks is from whence many a creativity has been spahhhaked. Yuh.

Tragic indeed. Must happen soon. Aight, I'm done for the night, time to shutterdown. Good luck with the 3 chardy party / work.

Strength.

um.

i don't OFTEN blargh whilst buzzed. but today i break all the rules.

uhhhhhh. wtf.

Eric and Jessica Tribute #2 -

^ ^ about that video ^ ^

MAYBE! i am the world's biggest sap (PUSS). but oh my gawd, i love this so much it a little bits hurts my heart to watch. yeah, i cried, shut up.

(i'm pulling an "amber," is all)


*slams last gulp of wine*

i did love them. i loved them so.

i'm not sorry AT ALL. but i'll pretend i am.

i'm sorry i just spent way too much time reading these. (no i'm not)
i'm sorry that i think these are the most hilarious things i've ever seen. (nope, still not actually feeling sorry)

i'm sorry i am linking to this so you can also enjoy yourselves way too much. (i am sorry about this, because it means others get to have as much fun as me, and i want to be the one who has the MOST fun. *sigh* FINE) --> SO MUCH AWESOME!!

more lies. master of lies.

dear co-workers:



oh, on second thought, no. i'm not sorry at all.

iLied.

ummmm so, like, maybe a week ago? i wrote this entry about how iHate everything that starts with an i.

PERHAPS? iWas just kidding about all that... because this new iPod Touch = iWANT!!!!

"... also unveiled a new, and widely expected, version of the iPod called iPod Touch. It essentially has all of the features of the iPhone except for the phone itself. Jobs also announced that the device's wi-fi connection will connect to a new wireless version of the iTunes Music Store that will let users download songs wirelessly. A software upgrade to the iPhone will soon let that device do the same thing..."

- - variety.com

*deep sigh*

me likey.

hilarity, thy name is frodo

reasons to watch this video:

1. you get the effects of being on drugs without any of the post-hallucination vomitting
2. you can impress your friends with a new dance
3. you always hated elijah wood and wanted to see him make a complete and total ass of himself
4. you are creepy and like kids' shows
5. i said so

(um, what are you waiting for?)



link << or, click that

(my favorite part is when they all go CRAZY. i mean, like whoa)

simple pleasures.

simple pleasure of the day:

thinking it's tuesday because of the short week, arriving at work, hungry and then realizing, OH HELLZ YEAH, it's actually BAGEL WEDNESDAY.

bagel me silly.

i'm a giver.

so here's your guide to the fall tv show premieres. consider it a gift, from the heavens above.

c/o the TV addict << clicksies.



ps. my most anticipated fall shows, in no particular order:

1. private practice
2. dexter
3. heroes
4. prison break
5. survivor: china (remind me to BLARGH about this one, so sad)
6. pushing daisies
7. the office
8. scrubs
9. beauty & the geek

cheers~

i'm nervous.

a lot of things are making me nervous this week.

1. aaron's play is opening on friday (well, moreso excited than nervous)


2. i might have to run 12 miles alone due to aforementioned play


3. i saw pradeep in a speedo (pick-up artist)


4. the same pradeep ended up winning the "day game" challenge (uh, ok)


5. jessica is on the block (big brother 8)


6. it's a double eviction week (omg)


7. i gave a couple of my newly boyfriended friends "advice" based on words of wisdom from HEIDI'S MOM (the hills)


8. they listened... (gulp)

yes. i watch too much TV. shut it. shut it up.

seriously.

too much hott.

the highlight of my long weekend, since you asked, was a ladies' trip to the southern most tip of the OC for a couple of days lounging around in bikinis, drinking fruity beverages, sneaking into hotel hot tubs after hours and having pajama pillow fights in our room. i might be kidding about that last part, or i may not. at any rate, a goodly part of of the weekend was spent with water whether at the beach, in the pool, in the shower or with an assortment of misting products. because, um, it was hotter than mutha effing Hades, b*tches.

SO, listen, mr or mrs sun (if that IS your real name), i think london is calling, i suggest you go visit and let us be for a minute. this is getting unbearable.

ps. summer is offically over. wah freaking wah.
pps. i don't want to admit that i actually thought i was going to san diego this weekend, but since i told way too many people i was, here goes: turns out DANA POINT is in the OC. the very southern tip, mindyou, but the OC nonetheless.
ppps. i hate OC people almost as much as i hate mall riffraff, but i love pools & beaches, so... it all worked out in the end. however, if i hear one more person say "killer," "nasty," "sick!" or "dude," i cannot be held personally reponsible for the public flogging that will occur upon said person(s).

k thx bai.

color of crazy.

there i was! walking the streets of LA in the area of my (least) favorite shopping mall, the beverly center. (remind me to post an entry someday about how much i hate mall riffraff). there's never a shortage of your garden variety homeless people around these parts, since this is a typical touristy area (tourists are SUCKERS). anyway, there are few characters that i'm used to seeing. i am even on a first name basis with a few, because ive selected them as my favorites. i know! how lucky are they? *ahem* anyway, so i was walking down the street, avoiding eye contact with people in general, when suddenly i noticed (coudn't help it) a lovely young lady pushing a cart with her life's contents in it. but that wasn't what caught my eye. actually, first i noticed that she was wearing all black from head to toe. and damnit if it wasn't 95 muther effing degrees today, by the way. but on top of here black ensemble, she was sporting hot pink underwear and a matching lingerie top.

so here's my thing. i mean, the cart is generally enough of a giveaway that you're a crazy homeless person. i feel bad for you, based on this alone. i'm likely to give you some monies based on my mood that day, it doesn't matter what you're wearing. so my question is, HOW NECESSARY IS IT TO WEAR THE UNDERPANTS ON THE OUTSIDE? was there a crazy contest that you wanted to win? are you genuinely confused? is there another reason for doing this that maybe i am just not hip to? did i miss ANOTHER fashion trend??

i mean, im just sayin'....