pressure cooker. HOT DOG!

i work in an area that is populated by all sorts of LAWYERS AND AGENTS. to be specific, britney spears has often been spotted here visiting a lawyer (hers? K-feds? who knows), and the agents in the complex are of the CAA-variety (translation BIG HUGE DEAL).

and we all know that i'm kind of a big deal, but… i, too, can get intimidated by agentylawyery-type people. yes it’s true. i kind of still think of myself as a tomboy from the stixx of minneapolis. like a tiny little weird fish* in a giant LA ocean. but in reality, i'm probably a regular-looking medium-sized fish in a regular old pond. yeah?

i do have a point here.

so anyway, i usually stick to a few tried and true lunch spots where i know EXACTLY what i want. I go in, I order, I leave. bam-bam-bam.

so i guess you could say i get intimidated? when i'm in line at a new eatery and there are people behind me who KNOW what they want, but i totally don't. so then! I panic. I order whatever seems the most easy and least caloric, just to get out of the way of the agentylawyery people and just get OUT. I don’t know why they scare me. most of them are probably douchebags anyway.

but they do, they scare me, so shut it.

so my point is this: today I went to the stand. and I wanted to BRANCH out and maybe get myself a nice HOT DOG. or even a chicken sandwich with WHATEVER FIXINGS I wanted. DESIGN YOUR OWN DOG! DESIGN YOUR OWN BURGER! seems like a simple (AND EXCITING!) proposition, right?

but then, someone was behind me in line, SUDDENLY. like, from out of nowhere. so then. I PANICKED. I couldn’t think of what I would actually like on my chicken burger (OR MAYBE? TURKEY DOG! OMG, SO MANY CHOICES!) so I did the obvious.

“greek salad with chicken, please.”

so, so lame. I sheepishly wandered over to where The Facility*** was waiting and confessed that I had lamed out and ordered a salad. even though, moments earlier, I had also confessed a craving for hot dogs after seeing a whole storyline about them on gossip girl last night. or so I heard, there was a storyline about them?

but hey! in a VERRRRY interesting turn of events, the salad was f*cking awesome.

so I win!

take that lawyeryagentydouchebags!! take that, you!!!!!!!!!!!


*i'm doing alright for myself, anyway…despite all my projections as a fresh-faced midwesterner upon arriving in LA and promptly HATING** it and thinking i was going to die a slow miserable death here.
**one year into my life in LA, i promptly LOVED it and could never imagine moving back to the frozen tundra. but anyway.
***my research partner in crime