100% class, ya'll.

typically, after working a 12-hour day, i'm pretty much spent.

typically, people don't have raging birthday parties on a tuesday night.

however, somehow, i found myself at a dive-bar-birthday-party at midnight last night.


and first, let me clarify that by "dive bar" i actually meant to say "GOURMET dive bar." which is a perfect oxymoronical description of my new favorite place, AKA The Happy Ending Bar.

it's pretty much the perfect place for sophisticated trash, like myself.

it's plastic cups of alcohol, but with cloth napkins.
it's cheap drinks and shots, but gourmet appetizers featuring ingredients like... lobster.
it's a gathering place for the post-dodgeball game crowd, but it's also high heels and glitter.
it's karaoke and 80s cover bands. and, yeah. there is no classy counterpart to that.

anyway, i only wish i hadn't been dead-faced tired (even though i slapped on a happy face for the few hours i was able to rally) because i think i would have danced my face off while spinning the wheel of drinks and catching lobsters with a claw machine after tossing back a few vodka red bulls.


but alas, i did not do any of the above things (i blame WORKING MY FACE OFF for such things).

i did however sample the filet mignon slider on a pretzel roll while sipping some vodka soda drinks, and i only wish i hadn't eaten earlier in the night, cuz that shizz was gooood. someone else at our table ordered the turkey andouille sausage corn dogs, and i had enough good sense not to try one ( i have PANTS to fit into, PEOPLE!) they were devoured by others at a breakneck speed. and! they smelled like YUMMMMmmmm.

anyway.

we left just as the party was getting into full swing, but i made a promise to the fat lobster in the tank that I WOULD BE BACK. and i would be eating him, or his friends. mark my words.