FROM THE VAULT.

ed. note: i was perusing past blogs and journals for april fool's jokes i've done, and came across this from another journal dated 1.16.2006. my brother was in town and, obviously, we know how to party.

enjoy

The bird bottle opener (BBO, from here on out) just chilling, seems cool enough.

I was like aw, you're cute BBO!!

I even stuck my finger in his mouth to show how much I trusted him. I was a little apprehensive, as you can probably tell.

Ranon thought maybe we should let BBO fly free... he's sweet & kind, you know.

Then, a crazy thing happened. BBO farted, and it smelled horrible. You can tell, because I look like I just smelled a horrible fart stink.

So I was like, BBO, you are dead to me. You farted on my table, gross. Double ew.

THEN! BBO attacked!!! I tried to get him off, but Ranon had to help.

So then! BBO attacked Ranon. Holy crap. What an ASSHOLE!

I would write more, but both of us are dead now, due to BBO-inflicted wounds and severe complications resulting therein.

RIP, Ruby & Ranon.