So it’s official. MISSION: CONDO is officially underway. I received a PRIORITY BUYER PRE-APPROVAL letter from my bank yesterday. They would have had it sooner, but I had to cook my books to make it look like I was running a legitimate business vs. running an illegal drug trade operation out of our 2nd floor duplex. You know, and provide “proof” of income an assets and whatnot. I mean, what? Why do you guys want to know what I make? How rude.
So anyway, let’s not belabor the details. We are officially searching and it is, um, SCARY. Only because, well… I think I may be biting off more than I can chew in terms of thinking a mortgage payment that essentially doubles what I’m paying in rent right now somehow “reasonable.”
But again, details shmetails.
We’re primarily focusing in on DOWNTOWN LA because we think it sounds cool to say “Oh, yeah, so we’re going to go look at a few condos downtown this weekend.” I mean. Right? How awesome are we? But in reality, downtown LA isn’t quite on the level of SUPER AWESOME … yet. But it will get there, oh yes, it will. We only have, like, a million requirements right now, but I’m told that this list will start to dwindle once we find places in the range that we can “afford.”
Here’s what we NEED, uh right now:
-Fitness center (on-site! Treadmills required!)
-Pool (preferably roof-top)
-Jacuzzi (w/ a “no freaks allowed” rule)
-Fireplace (for those cold winter nights)
-Dog Park (w/ automatic dog poo removal! Haha! I’m kidding!)
-Washer/Dryer in unit (A MUST MUST MUST, we are DIRTY KIDS!)
-Dishwasher, Refrigerator, Stove (I know, we are such snobs!)
-Cool islandy-thingie in the kitchen (you know)
-Walk-in closets (one closet for just my shoes alone! No! Yes!)
-Hardwood floors (two French bulldogs with vomit issues, hello)
-Vaulted ceilings with a huge wall for our upcoming giant flat screen TV (negotiable)
-Custom Mouldings (whoa! I’m just kidding! I don’t even know what that means)
-Close promimity to the Metro Red Line
-And so on
I'm willling to trade the jacuzzi for a sauna and/or steam room, obvsly, but I don't want to go too crazy.
SO. I think this should go well.
In other news… one of the boots I’m wearing today somehow creates a little pocket of air on the left side of the right boot. When I walk a certain way, the boot position aligns with my inner foot arch to make sort of a “farting” noise. While some might think, WHOA! How awesome!! I like to think it creates a bit of an issue when attending client meetings. Funny? OH YES. Classy & Professional? YEAH, NO.
As you were.