a little this, a little that.

it's friday night, 11:50pm. aaron, eddie and i are watching STAR TREK episodes from the late 60s for "research purposes." it's surreal. so surreal, that i am, in fact, retreating to my laptop to connect back to the "real world."

sylar is going to make a good spock, i think.

last night we went to Room 5's WHITE BOY COMEDY night to see a friend perform. normally, my experience with comedians is that for every 1 good comedian i see, i see at least 4 bad ones. for those playing along at home, that's a 20% success rate. LAST NIGHT, i saw 15 comedians. i would have to say that 5 of them made me laugh so hard i had tears in mine eyes. 30% success rate! i say, awesome town.

one comedian was, in fact, a lesbian. at one point during her set, she was like "i don't want to have babies. anyone with me on that" aaron and i immediately hooted and hollered and were like YEAH! NO BABIES! when suddenly we realized we might have been a little too gregarious as everyone turned to look at us.

um.

so.


adding camus to our familia has, once again, reminded me how UNREADY i am to be a mom. it totally DOES NOT STOP PEOPLE from CONSTANTLY asking when i'm going to have kids.

listen.

babies? not for me.

wine? for me.

any questions?


moving along.

3/15: my friend heather announced her engagement (totally YAY!)
3/26: she announces that THE DATE IS SET
9/6: is the date

how awesomely efficient is she? i have to say, i could not be more excited. in the last five months, two of my favorite bestest friends have announced engagements. aaron and i will finally have more than one married couple to hang out with. PURE EXCITEMENT.


tomorrow is the engagement party. whoop whoop. champagne and diamonds = awesome town.

after the comedy shenans last night, we headed out to grab a few frosty beverages. we settled on the belmont, since lately, that seems to be the joint of joints. lo and behold, we saw a random cast of familiar characters, but i also noticed a high penetration of douchebags.

gotsta love the hollywood peeps.


my new favorite phrase is EPIC FAIL. tonight i tried to use it in several situations, "trial and error," if you will.

i think my favorite use of it so far has been on my assortment of bad jokes. i'm getting used to being the EPIC FAIL when it comes to JOKES I THINK ARE FUNNY.


finally, i am totally addicted to ATTACK OF THE SHOW on G4. smart, funny, geeky and laced with a plethora of totally wrong innuendos, this is the SHOW FOR ME. i can't believe i watch it EVERY SINGLE DAY. but then again? i can.


DORK COUNT FOR THIS ENTRY:

star trek: 1
g4: 1
sylar: 1
TOTAL: 3


if you can find more, by all means, please call me out.



brought to you by two bottles of wine, one box of raisinets and a severe case of THE DORKS.

hi! *piss, boom, flush*

i overheard this conversation in the restroom stall next to me earlier today, while i was, you know, PEEING.

"oh yeah i just called to say hi, and see how you were doing."


do you think that call could have waited until after you left the restroom?


LADY, seriously.


gross.


** update **

i just had a convo with T about this subject and have more to add. so NOT ONLY is it bad form to talk on the phone in a restroom because you are being inconsiderate to the other person(s) in the restroom, it is ALSO SUPER RUDE to the person on the phone.

really, YOU? does that person REALLY want to hear flushing and pee and assorted other noises whilst conversating with you? do they REALLY want to have a visual of you on the el toilette? i doubt it. i mean, COME ON.

OH! unless they are super freaky. then! that's pretty nice of you to talk on your phone to them while doing the business. super bold, super awesome move by YOU, restroom cell phone talker. kudos.

"dude! you should totally see what i just googled while simultaneously talking to you on the phone and dropping a deuce!!"

yeah.

my dvr is smarter than me.

i came home from the housesitting extravaganza the other night all primed and ready to rot my brains out with the PREMIERE OF THE HILLS even though, let's be honest, i hate everything about the show and the people on it.

except LC. OMG I LOVE YOU LC.

anyway.

i clicked through the list of recorded items and stopped on the "THE HILLS - MTV - PREMIERE" or somesuch version of that. i read the description and confirmed, yep, this is THE PREMIERE. and then i hit play.

and then? THE COLBERT REPORT started playing. from COMEDY CENTRAL. i clicked out of it, and went back to The List and clicked back in thinking i had inadvertently clicked on something else.

and again, THE COLBERT REPORT starts playing.

WTF? where is my dirty, vapid HILLS? WTF DVR!!?!?! WTF!!!!!!!

i must have done that manuever like, 8 times. i was so CONFUSED.

anyway.


i just wonder what it all means.


*ponders*

furry.

aaron & have been dog/housesitting for my brother & sister -in-law for the past, ohhh, 11 days or so. so if you do the math, that means that we've been responsible for FOUR animals and TWO houses. add to that an easter celebration wherein aaron and i were the hosts for about 10 people (normally the BIL & SIL are in charge of that) and then add on TOP of that 18 million birthday celebrations this month and you've got yourselves some verrrrry exhausted people.

but its been fun. no, really. besides that little stint where i got the FLU, life has been good.

operation: summer body is now in full force. in the past 7 days i've been at the gym five days. i ran 10 miles last friday and 8 miles on sunday, so my running endurance has also returned. i'm contemplating signing up for a boot camp, but my other option is to increase the days a week i go to cardio sculpt class which is actually - wait for it - decreasing my body fat %. hellz yeah. at this rate i will be in maximum bikini shape by the beginning of may. or, you know, at least in better shape. a shape other than rotund, if you will.

that should give me plenty of time to plan a vacation for early may to show off my newly less rotund shape.

i just need to figure out some wheres whens and whys.

and off i go.

shaking off the cobwebs.

man. being sick is NOT "for me." that was, like, 168 hours of my life i will never get back. seven days spent in a foggy fog of sleepy obliviousness. one whole week of negative productivity and feeling like a colossal waste of space. that was the mehiest meh of all meh. mehhhhhh.

to be fair. on saturday when i was "starting to feel better" i decided to walk four miles on the treadmill and ride four miles on el stationary bike. as soon as i was done i thought to myself, "self, we might not have been ready for that. yet."

then, i talked myself into rallying myself for an early dinner at fat fish where i envisioned myself sipping on some miso, hot sake, green tea and maybe, just maybe "taking it easy" on my poor flu-ravished body and mind.

but nah. dinner turned into two bottles of wine among three of us. and there was no tea. no miso soup. and the hot sake? mostly was chilled white wine action.

then! back at home, we decided to break into another bottle of wine. and another. then we found ourselves at at the four seasons where our friend was staying and drinking... vodka soda? CHECK! champagne? CHECK! amaretto - neat? CHECK!!!!!



who the hell do i think i am??

and suddenly, we were ordering random appeteasers off the ridiculously over-priced menu to soak up all the alcohols. and suddenly? it was nearly 3am. and i was like, oh shit, i think i still have the stupid FLUUUUU.

so it was SHOCKING when i woke up sunday morning feeling like i had been run over by a bright yellow hummer (i don't know, it sounds hideous) and could NOT GET OFF THE STUPID COUCH. it was even more SHOCKING that i think (i lost count) i might have watched 8 BILLION episodes of WHAT NOT TO WEAR. i also might have dozed off during one of those episodes and promptly dreamt about what they would say to me when i went on the show.

oh my sweet baby jesus.

seriously.

who do i think i am?

anyway.

i slept it off on sunday, felt better on monday, and then OMG i went BACK to the gym on tuesday. and it was awesome. and today??? TODAY I FEEL FINE! ohhhh yes. i'm back to nrml.


whatever nrml is.

i lovez bulldogz.

can you stand it?

that's just sick.

welp. i guess it gots the influenza.

honestly? i don't think i've had the INFLUENZA since, like, maybe high school? maybe?

here's a thing about me. I DON'T "DO" SICK.

I DO NOT GET THE FLU! I AM A HARDCORE HIGH POWERED IMMUNITY MACHINE! I DEFY SICK.

but yet, here i am. sick as damn sick dog.

today's assorted symptoms include: runny nose, congested head, hacky-hack cough and headache right behind the eyeballs. also? super sensitive skin. like sensitive to the pressure of water-type sensitive.

meh.

it hurts to laugh, because that makes me cough, and coughing makes me get short of breath. isn't that SAD?

ah, woe is me.

but never fear! i am currently enjoying those scrumptious chicken soup ever from Organic To Go. Additionally, i discovered the coolest vitamin drink ever.

i guess maybe if i'm that excited about a vitamin drink i should probably go home and sleep this vile invasion off.


kthxbai.

zab judah!!!!

after i told eddie about the Official Birthday Shenanigans '08 Itinerary, he raised an eyebrow and said,

"Really, Ruby? 12 hours of birthday activities?"

"12 hours!?"

"well yeah, 4p to 4a, yeah?"

"well, actually eddie, if we're starting at 4p, it's probably only going to be 8 hours, you see. I can't imagine i'll make it past midnight at that rate!"

"i guess we'll see"

"INDEED, we shall!"

cut to me at 3:30 am sunday morning thinking, wow, did i really just drink for nearly TWELVE HOURS? i'm awesomezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

to recap, the evening started out around 4ish with a wine tasting situation at Mel & Rose wherein we sampled wines from the Zaca Mesa Winery. not surprisingly, i favored the chardonnay the most. however, i will say that the viognier was also quite lovely and danced quite nicely all over my tastebuds. after satisfactorily acquiring wine buzzes, our lovely little group of ten walked down melrose to get our FATTY HOUR on at fat fish





we picked up a few more for our party here, where we indulged in my favoritest favorite foods that i can NEVER GET ENOUGH of and i also posed for pictures like that <---

Q: how awesome is my hair in that pic?
A: super.

after that it was on to our final destination, the belmont. again, we walked. totally unheard of in LA, right? but it was an AWESOME night, really warm. just breezy enough. ahhhhh yes.

View Larger Map

so we arrived at the belmont and eddie maneuevered and finagled us a giant patio table where we ended up staying all night, even though technically, the manager thought they'd have to move us inside.

but you know what? we were just too awesome for that.

we picked up still more party people at the belmont, and soon we outgrew our giant table and just basically took over the patio. highlights of this portion of the evening included a "vodka taste test" that involved over 20 shots of vodka and resulted in one SUPER BUZZED giant patio table of hooligans. in this pic, i ponder the nuances of this vodka shot, which appears to be almost as big as my head.

survey says? DELICIOUS. i'll have another.

eventually, the clock rounded 1ish? 2ish? and eddie helped zab judah get in (for some reason the bouncer did NOT RECOGNIZE HIM!!) neither did i, but apparently he can KICK YOUR ASS SILLY. but he was actually quite lovely, and luckily, i didn't offer to "box" him.

but shortly after that, we decided it was time to start the good walk home. we ended up at my brother-in-law's house (since it was the closest) and finished up the night with chocolate squares of heaven and, you guessed it, more vodka tastes.

man.

good times.

i woke up painfully early on sunday and detoxed by running 10 miles, if you can believe that.

all-in-all, FUN STUFF SQUARED.

happy effing birthday.

yeah.

make st patty's day an OFFICIAL holiday.

GO HERE TO SIGN THE PROPOSITION!!


way too much fun!

rat in a cage.

so i joined another gym. they lured me in with promises of free massages and yoga mats. they also happen to be right out the door from my office, so it was like, if i didn't join, they were FOREVER GOING TO MOCK ME EVERY TIME I LEFT WORK.

so i joined. did i cancel my other gym membership? hells no. i now have a weekday gym and a weekend gym. it makes sense in my squirrel brains, so it must be awesome.

so i was talking about this REALLY AWESOME HARDCORE SCULPT class i took the other night when my temporary officemate chimed in with,

HIM:
"oh yeah, i avoid those classes because i don't want to be THAT GUY in the class that doesn't know what the hell he's doing."

ME:
"yeah, i know what you mean. i always find myself looking at the 'new kid' in class like... ohhhh myyyy goodddddd, WHAT IS (S)HE DOING!?!?"

HIM:
"see it's the PEOPLE LIKE YOU!"

ME:
"HOWEVER, i was the new kid in class on tuesday night. i went in, grabbed my weights, medicine ball, strap etc. etc. and i parked myself in a seemingly inconspicuous spot in the room. i was situating myself feeling all lucky when i could tell a couple of the REGULARS were staring and whispering at me. one came over and was like, UM ARE YOU TEACHING THE CLASS? and i, at first, was flattered and said, um, no, why? and this b*tchface was all UM BECAUSE YOU ARE SETTING UP WHERE THE TEACHER NORMALLY, UM, TEACHES. SO EITHER YOU ARE TEACHING OR YOU'RE REALLY, UM, UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO WHERE SHE WILL BE. " needless to say, i, um, looked like a jackass.

HIM:
i think you deserved that.


TOUCHE, office mate, TOUCHE.

so anyway, since joining a week ago, i've now tried (1) yoga class, (1) cardio sculpt + kick ass abs class, ran on (1) treadmills, ellipticled on (1) ellipticals and i'll tell you this about my new gym: IT'S HOT.

no seriously.

it's like a god damn sauna. but there's a lot to be said for sweating before you even bust a move. that's what i call "efficient."

stay tuned for more "new kid in the class" adventures. in which i look like a jackass. again.

birfday!

some hooligans decorated my office

flowers & checkered gift from aaron

in the box

from the doggs-

a victoria's secret gift certificate

not weird AT ALL!

notice the little drawing on the left, by cosette

(it says "him" and has an arrow pointing to a drawing of camus)

dinner was delicious wine & savory tapas at tasca

dessert was so much yum that MY FACE HURT
from smiling through the sugar!

aaron also bought me

and a 90-minute this

scheduled for sunday, post big birthday bash!

then, we watched an AMAZING episode of

BIG BROTHER

wherein i promptly did a dance in my chair, i was so excited about the BIG TWIST

shortly thereafter, i passed out in a wine-induced buzz

in the massage chair with this thing

awesome town awesomeness.

next up:

happy hour with co-workers tomorrow

wine tasting, sushi and drinks in hollywood with the crew on saturday

massage on sunday

yes.

and

yessssssssss.

what you lookin at?

another year older.

so much has been going on in ye olde life of ruby lately, i don't even know where to begin. the addition of a puppy plus a steady flow of visitors to town has combined to make my life INSANELY busy. but i have no complaints, ya'll. just doin' the do.

i've still found time to sneak away into the bedroom lair where i catch up on big brother after dark under the guise of cleaning my closet. yet, the closet never seems to organize itself, right. the guilt i feel for being SO DAMN INVOLVED in the lives of these made-for-TV freaks never ceases to grow to the point wherein i decide IT'S TOO MUCH, BRAIN IS ROTTING, MUST STOP WATCHING NOW. no, not yet.

my birthday is tomorrow. i'm scratching at the business end of the MTV demographic, which i still consider to be Persons 12-34. TWO YEARS, friends. and i'm officially too old for music television as we know it. but i'm cool with that, you know. because? i'm a super-sophisticated adult, ya'll.

in addition to feeling more like an adult as of lately, i carefully constructed a tax submission wherein THE BANK IS IN MY FAVOR. i'm getting a refund for the first time in YEARS. i want to thank the following:

1. my ingenuity when it comes to ITEMIZING DEDUCTIONS
2. the fact that aaron can write off anything from GOING TO THE GYM to GETTING HAIRCUTS because it's all in the name of vanity. *ahem* i mean, ACTING.
3. the fact that i finally figured out how to decrease my taxable income while simultaneously increasing my salary. i actually don't know what i am TRULY netting anymore. i would guess it's about 50% of my actual salary. HOWEVER, i'm NOT PAYING IN THIS YEAR! i'm so excited i could pee.

cool.

last week we helped aaron's brother entertain a gentleman from the land of kiwi. it involved going out to ALL of my favorite dinner spots, drinking ourselves silly on school nights, making the kiwi say phrases from "flight of the conchords*" and generally, having a good old time. he left sunday night after a whirlwind tour of LA, and i made the threat, nay, promise that i would soon venture to New Zealand so he could repay the favour of our company.

ha!

did i mention it's my birthday tomorrow?


xo




*made INFINITELY more enjoyable due to the fact that he is, indeed, friends with Bret and Jemaine. LUCKY!